Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year

Well the New Year has not even started yet and some people are mad. Time Warner wants more money. Gee imagine that! The cable giant want $39million in increased fees for some shows like "Sponge Bob Squarepants", Comedy Central, including "The Colbert Report" and " The Daily Show". If an agreement can not be reached soon (12:01 am) some Time Warner customers in Ohio, southern California, North and South Carolina and Texas may be without these shows.Then again with the increases, guess who will pay? Yeah, you got it, the customers! There go the cable bills up again.

Luckily we don't have Time Warner here but we have Comcast which any day now I expect will raise their prices too. After all, Digital is going to be the only game in town now. Come Feb. 2009 analog goes bye-bye. Now that we will have no choice but to go digital, any wild guesses how much cable bills will rise?

Oh well, I might have to watch an episode of "SpongeBob" just for fun if I can remember what channel it's on. Comcast keeps changing things. Oh wait, there are a bunch of football bowl games on. Sorry Bob. Gotta check out Texas and Alabama. Oh yeah, Rice University (the smart people school) won it's bowl game, the first win in about 50 years.

Any body looking for a new job in the new year? How about pro football coach? Musical chairs in the NFL is now in full swing. From head coaches to assistants are up for grabs. Even the Texans fired their defensive staff. I can't say I'm surprised.

Well, other than Time Warner (do they really need $39 mill?) I would like to wish everyone a very happy New Year. May all your wishes come true. Stay safe...

Monday, December 29, 2008

Moving Right Along

Yes we have survived another year. I have noticed that the older I get the faster the years go by. Sometimes I just want to say,"Stop the world, I want to get off..." Yes, stopping the world might let me catch up with things I have not finished yet. Or I would like to think so. Every time I see my grandkids I have to wonder how fast they have grown. Then again, I'm not getting any younger.

Our Texans redeemed themselves, sort of. They did look good in the last game. We were happy they were able to finish 8-8. Of course they had the same record last year. I can't help but think of those few inches or that one missed tackle and we could have had our first winning season. Alas, yet again, wait till next year.

I did notice what I would say is an economic story. Remember last year I noticed all the boxes telling what everyone in the neighborhood got for Christmas at the curb? As some one once said , "It's the economy, stupid". What a difference a year makes. The garbage after this year was a lot less and cheaper. I only saw one "big ticket" item. There was indeed, a lot less garbage after this holiday.

Anybody ever seen a blooming Aloe Vera plant? I have one that is about to flower. I never realized they had flowers. Of course, my shrimp plant and my kalanchoe plant has buds on it. They don't realize this is winter. Of course we never know from day to day what season we will be in. One day we use the as - the next we have a fire in the fireplace.

Well, I'm moving on to the laundry and a refrigerator rummage for turkey. I really am looking forward to a better New Year. Any predictions?

Friday, December 26, 2008

Christmas Cards for Sale

Man I forgot to send Christmas cards again this year! On the other hand my family members move around a lot and I just can't seem to keep up with address changes. I used to keep a nice address book, but I had to scratch out so much I gave up.

Ever since Jimmy parents died most of the family has gotten lax about keeping in touch. Aunt Pat used to send a newsletter every holiday season telling all about what her family was doing. Jimmy's mother used to send us cards and even the kids cards, too. We used to send cards to family and friends. I even went to the store and bought different cards for grandkids. But I haven't seemed to do that lately.

What happened to the days when people agonized over just the right card for just the right person for just the right occasion? I can remember hearing "we were going to send you a card, we could not afford it, etc". Then my kids got on a kick of sending e-cards for Mother's Day or birthdays. Somehow, it is not the same. These days it seems to be easier and "cheaper" just to call and say "Merry Christmas" than it is to buy a card.

I guess we all are busy these days.I can remember many years ago when my father used to get Christmas cards from some of the different sales people who dealt with him at the papermill. Some of those cards were beautiful, ornate and not cheap. My mother, who was an artist, was even impressed.

We talked to Annie, Pat, and Amanda over the holiday. But as to cards, well we did get two in the mail. One was from our insurance agent and the other was from the cable company.At least they know our address cause the bill always find their way here. Hum... we did not get one from the electric company. Imagine that.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Christmas Elf

There once was a girl named Patricia who lived in south Alabama. It was near Christmas and while she was looking forward to it she didn't really believe in Santa Claus anymore. After all she was almost ten, much too old to still believe in such stories. She liked looking at the stockings hung by the fireplace. Her mother had made them by hand. There was a stocking that looked like an argyle sock for her father. Her mother's stocking looked like an old fashioned woman's high buttoned boot. Even the dog, Dixie, had a stocking. It was in the shape of a bone. Patricia's stocking was white with glittered Christmas decorations and bells on it. She knew that come Christmas morning it would be filled with a few little presents and some fruit, nuts and candy as would her parents stockings. Dixie's would have doggy toys and treats.

Patricia loved this time of year. She liked all the pretty decorations and the presents under the tree. She still looked forward to opening those carefully decorated boxes that her mother decorated with love. But Patricia already knew what she was getting for Christmas because she had accidentally found the bicycle hidden in the shed in the back yard. But she vowed to be happy any way.

But on Christmas Eve, she saw something she had not seen before. At least she did not think she had ever seen it. An elf sitting on the mantle piece. He wore a red suit and had a little green hat on his head. Puzzled she asked her mother about it. She did not know where it came from either.

When Christmas morning came Patricia saw her new bicycle as well as some things she did not expect like a record player and some records. She had wanted a record player but decided not to ask for one since she knew she was getting the bicycle. So where did the record player come from? As she put a record on the player, she looked up at the bookcase in the corner of the room. The elf was sitting on the top of the shelf. Santa? Maybe he does exist.

Years later when Patricia was married with children of her own she had a visitor a couple of days before Christmas. Her children saw him too as he sat on a lamp shade. They snickered when she told the kids he was one of Santa's elves.That was until they discovered on Christmas morning that he had moved across the room.The spirit of Christmas?

It has been a few years since Patricia has seen the little elf. But as all believers know, he is around. To this day Patricia still believes.To all a Merry Christmas.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

New Shoes? Got Money?

Oh Boy! Some people in Houston are standing in line for a chance to get one of 23 pairs of the new Air Jordan 23 Premier shoes for $230. Only one store in each of 23 cities will be selling the shoes. The Active Athletic shoe store in Houston is selling them. One guy has apparently been standing in line since Saturday for a chance at these shoes.

I guess it is a big deal for some people. After all it has been 23 years since the first Air Jordan shoes came out. And if you don't remember, 23 was Michael Jordan's number when he played basketball with the Chicago Bulls. Just think, if you have $230 that you don't need, get in line. Good luck.

I have already seen them listed on eBay for over $1,000. Good grief. I'm sure they will ultimately sell for much more. I just can't understand why. Nor would I stand in line to buy them from the store. But I guess some lucky person will be happy to get a pair in hand so he (or she) can say that he got of of 23 pairs from one of only 23 stores in the entire country.

Well, I guess someone will have an expensive pair of shoes under the Christmas tree. Are they really worth that amount of money? I don't even want to think what people would be willing to pay on eBay for these things. They are shoes, people! And I though my New Balance shoes were expensive at $50.

Friday, December 19, 2008

It's Almost Time, Do You Know Where the Gifts Are?

Have you finished shopping yet? Or will you be one of those people racing around looking for last minute gifts? Have you finished wrapping the gifts? Have you hidden them well enough?

Years ago when we had young children I tried to start buying early.One year I managed to buy, wrap and hide all the presents a couple of months before Christmas. I was so proud of myself. That was the one and only time that ever happened.

So as a reminder to all who still have presents to buy, wrap and hide,it's not easy being the Christmas elf in charge of presents.
Keeping track of who gets what and making sure all kids get the right number of gifts is an art. After all, if one kid gets one less present there could be a pouting child. Then of course the Christmas elf has be make sure there is plenty of tape, boxes and name tags. Remember wrapping paper must be appropriate for each gift. No poinsettia paper for those who don't like those flowers. Yes there are some who don't like to see a lot of poinsettias at Christmas, right Annie?

Then comes the most important part. You have to be sure you hide the gifts so they will not be found by curious children or spouses. My kids loved to try to track down the gifts and try to figure out what was inside. That is the main reason I became the Christmas gift hiding queen. I was way ahead of everybody. Gifts were all wrapped, tagged and hidden long before the big day. Of course there would always be at least one I could not find. One year I found a present several months later. So be sure to make note of where all the gifts are. If you have junior elf helping you with these chores make sure they double check everything and keep a good list.

Now that you have done all of this and are sure everything has been done, relax. Sit down have a drink of eggnog (plain or high test). Put your feet up,enjoy the decorations and think. Forgot anything?

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Hello, Wait a Minute, You're Dead

I heard a news story that I found just a little disturbing. Apparently there is a new trend in burial with what people want to take with them to the grave. Of course there are people who want to be buried in a favorite dress or clothes. Some people want to be buried with a favorite piece of jewelery. My grandfather was buried with his ceremonial Marine sword. I've even heard of men who wanted to be buried with a favorite golf club. But a cell phone?

I can remember back in the day, pre-cell phone, when the joke was that teenagers would have to have an operation to remove the phone from their ears. Well now apparently some people are choosing to be buried with their cell phone.This is strange on so many levels. I remember reading stories about how, years ago, people were buried with a bell attached to them in case they were not really dead, they could pull the cord to ring the bell for help. Maybe being buried with a cell phone is the same thing?

I can just imagine this. A loved one gets a call. It is from the cell phone of the recently departed loved one.That would be creepy enough, but suppose they answer the phone.They hear "Hey, Honey, I forgot to tell you to cancel my dentist appointment." Or "If you really want to know, I haven't seen St. Peter any where around here, but at least it is not hot." Then there might be the ultimate kiss off by a dead person, " I never got to sign the new will, so sorry, you won't be getting anything."

With so many people addicted to their cell phones I have to wonder about this new trend. Is there texting after death? Will Verizon really go through that "dead zone"? Will roaming charges apply?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Standing in Line, Who's in Front of Me?

Images are not always what we think. We look at someone and try to decide what they do for a living or even are they male or female. What a person wears may tell something about a person. Hair color may not always be a clue either.

This morning I was in line at a grocery store. As I waited, I looked at the back of the person in front of me. No big deal, right? Let's see... a woman wearing a uniform and a gun on her right hip. Police? No, security guard. Blonde hair, is she blue-eyed? No. Nice looking, black woman wearing carefully applied make-up and also wearing long deeply colored nails. As I looked at her pretty face, I noticed she was wearing glitter eye shadow. I've seen some people wear glitter eye makeup and I realize it may be a fashion trend. I admit I am a little old fashioned. My mother would have told me that glitter eye shadow was for nighttime party wear. She was wearing glitter eye shadow at 10:00 am. Maybe she just got off work. Assuming she did, as a security guard, who is she going to impress? The guys out to steal something? I just thought the glitter was a little out of place.

Then I looked at her well manicured l -o-n-g nails. Just how easy would it be for her to pull her gun out of the holster with those nails? I could just imagine. "Stop thief, police, damn, broke a nail!" Would the crook be able to get away? On the other hand maybe she works in a place where she has the gun more for show than protection.

Then as we stood in line I looked at the one item she was buying- one small bottle of make-up. I had some wine. The woman behind me had a bunch of coupons for a couple of items. Another lady had two bunches of banannas. The one woman out of us all who had time to put on her make-up was the woman in front of me and she was buying more. I guess she had to make sure she looked good while packing heat.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

That's Enough, Daisy

Maybe it's the weather. Or maybe I just have a nutty dog.I just took her for a walk around the block. Of course she enjoyed tracking whatever she thought was interesting. I was just along for the ride, I mean walk. Oh well, it was good exercise.

So now we are back and Daisy is bouncing around like a kid. The other day my son was over here and she pestered him. He and I were looking at my monitor. My computer desk is behind our sofa. Well Crazy Daisy decided she wanted in on the action. She climbed onto the back of the sofa and then onto my son's arm. Pat was kneeling at the computer while I was in my chair. Pat had his arm across the back of the sofa. So Daisy walked right onto his arm up to his shoulder. No fear. But now she is pushing on the back of my chair. Enough Daisy, get back. Is she going to listen? No. I try to turn around and there she is standing on her hind legs looking at me as if to ask me something. What in the world is with her? There she goes again, across the back of the sofa. Be still, will ya!

Daisy is not afraid of falling off the sofa, but I am. Now she is miffed at me cause I am not paying attention. She brought over one of the toys and dumped it by the chair. Now she is sitting by me, pouting. Maybe she has noticed the promos for Marley's movie. I read the book and sometimes I think they could be related.

Well now it looks like I may have to referee a game here. Daisy has this idea that Lady would like to get out of her chair and actually play with her. Not a chance kiddo. Lady is so above all the nonsense that Daisy wants. After all, those toys actually belong to Lady, or so she says.

Hum... now what? Maybe she finally heard me. Just how many times did I tell her to stop pushing and bouncing around? Humph! Well I guess now she is tired of trying to get attention. So why is she right at my feet sitting in anticipation? Sorry Daisy, that's enough.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Strange Feelings

Yesterday was fairly nice. It was cool and a little cloudy,but comfortable. It did rain in spots, like Relaint Stadium during the football game. That was a little strange. The roof is usually closed but since it has not been repaired yet, the players and some fans got a little wet.

Of course today we will probably have another strange day. The temperature was in the 60-70's range. Right now it is 43 and going down.We could even have one of those strange happenings of freezing rain. Then tomorrow the temperatures will go up and by Thursday we could be up to 79. Strange weather here. What's next?

Strangely, this year I still have not gotten into the Christmas spirit. I am tired of all the commercials selling "great" gifts for everyone. Is that all there is? Do kids really need a dozen presents? Of course we would like a new tv from Santa but until Jimmy gets paid for some work he did for a couple of people who keep promising... At least we can put a couple of dollars in the Salvation Army kettle whenever we go by. Strange how a hurricane will make you change your feelings about things.

Oh well. What is that annoying beep? Crap. It's the answering machine. Guess I'll go back up the stairs to see what the useless message is this time.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Houston, We Have, Uh, Snow??

What is this?

This is snow in Houston! Yesterday it really snowed in here. As I took the dogs outside in the afternoon, we were pelted by falling snow. The dogs looked around and sniffed at it as it briefly lay on the ground. Where we live in the northwest side of Harris county we got just enough to put a light coat on cars, roofs and mailboxes. But it really did not cover the ground at all. Other parts of the area, mostly in the east to southeast part of the county got as much as 3 inches. Snowfall totals varied from 1/2 inch to 3 inches.

Of course this morning traffic is a nightmare due to the icy bridges and roads. Let's face it, we're not used to this. Police have closed some roads and overpasses and bridges due to the conditions. At least Jimmy does not have to go across town today like he did yesterday.

It was fun for us who rarely see snow. But by this afternoon the sun will have melted it all away. By the end of the week the temperatures will be back into the mid 70's. No wonder people around here say if you don't like the weather here, wait a minute, it will change.

There was a discussion about weather patterns by the local weather people. The last time it snowed here was 4 years ago at Christmas.According to the weather patterns of the last few years when a hurricane came through here or near here, we had snow during the winter. In 1983 Hurricane Alicia hit around here and it snowed several times during the winter. It snowed in December of 1989 after Hurricane Jerry hit in the summer. Maybe there are some weather patterns which would show snow after a hurricane but nothing really scientific.

Some of Jimmy's poker buddies who live in snow prone areas of the north were complaining about it just the other day. Funny, that was the same day I said that I would like to see a little bit once in a while. Nice for a while, till people have to drive in it. Well, I guess this is our snow for a while. On the other hand, if we have to have a hurricane just to get some snow, I would rather not have the hurricane.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Holiday Time, Time to Beware

I received an e-mail from a friend of mine recently. In it she told me about how the local police were warning people about a new wrinkle in car-jacking. It seems that while a person is out shopping a person will put a sticker on the back window of the shopper's car. When the shopper comes back to the car, opens, the door and gets in, suddenly they notice a sticker in the back window. They get out to remove the sticker. It is then that the thief or car jacker jumps into the open car and takes off with the car, purse or whatever is in the car.

So let us all remember when we go out this holiday season to be very careful. Be sure to lock cars at all times and put all packages and shopping bags in the trunk. Do not leave GPS or other electronic devices in sight. Do not leave money or purses in the car either. Be aware of where you are and who is around. Have your keys ready and get into your car and lock it.

This is a happy time of year but remember there are always those who would spoil the joy. Don't be a victim. Have a happy holiday season.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Marks People Make on Others

What is the matter with us? Over the last few days I have thought about how different things are, compared to when I was younger. I just don't get us. What messages are we sending to other people? Here are three examples.

Teachers have sex with students.Ok. Teachers do drugs. Ok Teachers bring drugs to campus. Ok. The school district says it will send drug dogs to all the schools. Ok. Somehow I suspect that those teachers who have not been caught with drugs will find out when the dogs will be at their schools. Ok, so why announce this? Why not just surprise them? Hum...

The other day as I walked Daisy, I saw the painters and clean up crew working on a newly vacant unit of one of the townhouses. Then I noticed that this crew was bringing out a lot of junk that the tenents left. Not just garbage, but apparently things the renters no longer wanted. I can understand that maybe they no longer wanted some of these items. But isn't it their responsibility to clean up the place before they leave? I have always cleaned up any place where I lived. Even when I owned a house and moved to a different one, I made sure I left it clean. Now, I see people who move out of one place, load their trucks with what they do want and leave the rest. Maybe these people don't care about getting their deposit back? Or are they just lazy or careless?

Lastly I have seen more and more people becoming confrontational about things that could be handled better. If you have trouble with a company, you ask for help. If you don't get it, you to the supervisor or manager. Same thing with personal relationships, why jump into a big fight first? I see more and more people who, apparently, don't want to end things quietly. If you were in a relationship which did not work out, would you hold on to some personal items that did not belong to you? Would you do this for spite? Apparently some people do. And since when is it a good idea for parents to try to start a physical altercation with a grown child's former friend who just wants a couple of personal items back after the breakup?

Medical doctors take the Hippocratic Oath, part of which says "first do no harm..." . Oh, and let us remember "people who live in glass houses, should not throw stones". What happened to "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". We are too quick to accuse or act like, who cares, it's not my problem. So many people don't think what they say or do can affect others. We adults are the role models for our society, despite what we make think. Somebody is always watching.

I think about how my parents treated me and the people they knew. They were classy people who would not treat people the way people do now. I'm glad I learned from them. Fairness, honor, respect for each other, even if you don't like each other. Don't see enough of that these days.

Friday, December 05, 2008

Another Teacher Busted

Call me crazy but I thought we were supposed to look up to teachers as good role models. I know there are many, many teachers who are excellent at their job. But lately, at least in the Houston area, a lot of teachers are being arrested. Most recently several teachers have been arrested at school for drugs. Usually the drug dog finds evidence in the teacher's car. Most of the time marijuana is found, sometimes cocaine. Why? Do they think they will not be discovered? Is there a flaw in the employment process?

Not that long ago we heard stories of teachers having affairs with underage students. Now, some teachers have chosen to bring or use drugs on campus. This really must make the good teachers feel terrible. I look back at my school years and never heard any bad stories about the teachers. Now it seems that nearly every day there is another story of a teacher getting arrested. What is the matter with these teachers, or our education system that allows this to happen?This is sad.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Hang Up on the President Elect? Oops!

On Wednesday, a Republican congresswoman,Lleana Ros-Lentinen got a call from President-elect Barack Obama, didn't believe it was him, and hung up on him. Twice.

According to Ros-Lehtinen's spokeman, Alex Cruz, the congresswoman received the call on her cell phone from a Chicago-based number and an aide informed her that Obama wanted to speak to her. When Obama introduced himself, Ros-Lehtinen cut him off and said, "I'm sorry but I think this is a joke from one of the South Florida radio stations known for these pranks." Then she hung up.

Moments later, Obama tried again, this time through his soon-to-be chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel.

"Ileana, I cannot believe you hung up on the President-Elect," Emanuel said. And then--yes, you know what's coming--she hung up on Emanuel saying she "didn't believe the call was legitimate."

A short time later, Ros-Lehtinen received an urgent call from Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), the chairman of the Foreign Affairs Committee, who informed her that she indeed hung up on Obama.

So, Obama tried again and this time he was successful. Oops!

Can you imagine getting a call from an important person like the President and you think it is a prank? Thanks to Aston Kutcher's "Punked" show, would you really answer the phone. Just ask Sarah Palin about being punked. It does remind me of a sketch Bill Cosby did years ago when he played Noah and God called him and told him to build an ark. Noah didn't believe it either. He said Yeah, right. When God told him to build the ark and how many cubits to make it, he said again, yeah right, what's a cubit? I thought it was a funny sketch.

Just goes to show that you never know who will call you. Caller ID anyone? I got a call one time from Gov. Rick Perry asking me to vote, but that was a recording, I think... I let the answering machine take the call.

Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Follow the Bouncing Ball

At last the Houston Texans have something to smile about. Their first appearance on Monday Night Football was a good one.Now if Tony Kornheiser would just learn to stick to the game instead of being the fashion critic..His comments on the Texans Battle Red uniforms were unnecessary. So, he thinks they are silly and look like a ketchup bottle. Ahem, don't tell Mario Williams, he might sack you, Tony!

As for the BCS and the Big 12 Conference---phooey! Grrrrrr and other words I would rather not say. Texas beat Oklahoma but the Sooners get to play in the conference championship game. Go figure. Most people polled chose Texas, but the computers picked Okhaloma. Huh?? Well, I guess I will just have to pull for Missouri to beat Oklahoma. If they do (and that is a big if) beat the Sooners, maybe the Big 12 should re-think their policy on ties. The SEC and others have better tie breakers. So now Texas has no chance at the National Championship. They will probably go to a BCS bowl game, just not the Championship. Come on Bama! Beat Florida.! I have my doubts that the Tide will beat the Gators but, I'm hopeful. It doesn't look like it will be Alabama vs Texas for the National Championship. Maybe that would be a good thing. Footballs do bounce funny, don't they?

Monday, December 01, 2008

Where are the Leftovers?

Well we all survived the Thanksgiving week-end. There was enough food to feed a small nation. Somehow I never got any of the deserts. Luckily Jimmy made two buttermilk pies so we have one in the freezer here. I made 40 deviled eggs and never got any of them. For most of the day the guys were outside playing horseshoes and drinking beer or "watching" the kids. We all know how that goes...

We were inside most of the time talking or watching tv. Have you ever been kissed by an iguana? Pat and Amanda have a small aquatic zoo with fish, big turtles and little turtles as well as an iguana. The kids liked holding the turtles and the iguana. Of course Annie does not like any kind of lizard anywhere near her.. Somehow now there is a picture of her with it on her arm. I don't know who was more nervous, Annie or the iguana. Some how while I was playing with it I found myself face to face with the little guy, literally. I guess I rate an approval because I got a little kiss from him. Well, I guess that is one thing I can scratch off my "bucket list".

I enjoyed listening to all the stories of what all the gang is doing. I think Pat is going to have to ask a few more questions about the women he meets. Like , "What do you do for a living, where do you live, are you married?" Less "oops" that way...too funny. Then as I listened to one of my daughters talk about some problems they had with a family member and how mad she was, I could not help but remember how frustrated we were with her when she was a teenager. Can we say payback? How does that shoe fit anyway?

Jason was able to fix my computer. I'm using it now. But now I have to fight with it to get it back to the way it was. I think the problem is my monitor. I've been trying to get the pages set right and the print size to stay right. I'm going a little nuts here.

Traci went to a pet store and bought two rats. Yes, I said rats. They have been named " Biscuit and Gravy" and are really cute, calm and playful. One of them sat in Traci's shirt pocket yesterday before everyone left. Traci did make sure that they are two of the same sex so there will be no little rats.

Yesterday one of my guppies gave birth. So now I have some extra ones. I hope they will be able to hide in the grass long enough to survive to maturity. We shall see.

Now I have to get back to the mundane things, like laundry. At least my red shirt is clean. Today is "Battle Red Day" in Houston since the Texans are playing in their first Monday Night Football game. Gee we get to watch them embarress themselves on national tv. Maybe they will play good. Hope springs eternal. The Texas Longhorns were tied for division champion with Oklahoma and Texas Tech. Even though Texas beat Oklahoma, in the tie breaker the Sooners were picked to play Missouri for the Conference championship. Now we have to root for Missouri! Texas Tech gets left out completely. So wrong on so many levels.

Now I have to get back to figuring out how to get the print settings better. Grrr.