I Told You I Didn't Want to be Buried.

My family and I have had several discussions about burial. They know I would prefer to be cremated, rather than buried in a cemetery. Looking at all the plots and headstones makes me think of an apartment complex for the dead. Suppose I wake up years later. Not only have the styles have changed but so have I. All the work that the funeral home people did on me so I would look good in that casket,ha. Bad enough that people go to a funeral and say things like, "she looks so life-like". Now after all these years everything is not the same. Who is the idiot who put my head on this stupid pillow! Since when did I wear my hair this way? What's up with these clothes? Which one of you children picked this ugly dress out? Please don't tell me that you paid money for it. After all I'm not a "dressy" kind of person. They actually put shoes on me? If you expected me to lie here all these years, why have on shoes? I hate to tell you but the embalming wasn't that good. I'm begining to crack. This outfit you put me in now has holes in it. I really didn't care for your choice of lipstick, it case you care. You could have at least put something for me to do in this overpriced box. Do you know how boring it is in here. No tv, no books.Do you have any idea how many books I could have read? Come on! I guess by now "General Hospital" is "Geriatric Hospital" How many husbands has Erika had now? By now the "4400" is down to "2347" Man where does time go? Just think if you had cremated me like I wanted I could have become part of an ocean reef or fertilizer for a tree or a pretty rose plant. But no, you had to stick me in this box. Now let's see, which one of you will I haunt this week. Gotta stay busy. Remember, I told you I would haunt you, who's next?

By Reason of Insanity

Everyone has an opinion about Andrea Yates. Many are furious, many are sympathetic. The bigger question is how do we judge and how do we know what to say? The Texas law regarding insanity is based on an arcane British law from the 1840's. Maybe this will spur the Texas Legislature to re-think the law. We have all seen the stories on tv as well as killers in our states who use the insanity defense. Were they guilty? Yes. Were they insane? Maybe, maybe not. Looking at only the Yates case, one has to learn of the Yates history. There are people who believe that Andrea's husband is partly responsible. He had always insisted that he and his wife would have as many children as God would allow. Andrea Yates was overwhelmed from the very begining. Her post-partum problems became increasingly more difficult. She had been under psychiatric care for years. She and Rusty were warned not to have more children because her persistant post-partum depression was likely to spiral into psychosis. When the news first broke about the tragedy the local media dug into every aspect of the story. All aspects of the Yates family were examined. They even dug into Rusty's behavior. One of the things they discovered was that he apparently decided to follow a religious group to the point of having the entire family live in a small travel trailer and go on the road. Try living in a tiny trailer with small children. Not an easy thing to do. Some have even suggested that he didn't feel she needed all the medication. Personally, I have my own feelings about him. At least he continued to support Andrea throughout the wholde ordeal. Maybe he felt guilty? Some of us question what will happen in his current marriage.

I just hope that we all will learn more about mental health and how to cope with and treat it. Yes, Andrea Yates committed a horrible crime. As she continues treatment, she will come to the realization of what she did. I hope the mental health people will be able to help her because, at least to me, she is and has been mentally ill for a very long time. Should she have been sent to jail? Should she be committed to a mental hospital for life? These are questions to which we all have our own answers. A sane mother who loved her children would not have killed them. Mothers often feel overwhelmed and frequently angry at their children. Most have loving husbands and family to help during the bad times. Did Andrea Yates?

Why is a Salt Shaker in My Yard?

After yesterday morning's rain I kept hearing an indessant "beep" around the window on the front side of the house. I discovered it was a baby mockingbird. The mother was near so I left it alone. On my trek back through the front yard I said hello to my neighbor(the one with the kids, not the neglected dog).As I passed by the shrubs by the side of the house, I found a salt shaker on the ground. What is this? Thinking maybe her kids had gotten wild, I asked if it belonged to her. As she told me no, she pointed to the culprit. Ah, yes. Our good ole buddy, the big brown dog. Apparently since the neighors on the other side are no longer keeping him on a chain, he roams the neighborhood at will. He was standing on the sidewalk, with that "who me?" look. So, my neighbor and I discussed the situation. He has been wandering around tearing up fences, trash and who knows what. Maybe that's how that one shoe ended up in my backyard? She told me of her frustration and that she had call the pound 5 times to no avail. She and her other side neighbor want to breed their dogs but the wanderings of our neighbor's dog has made that difficult at best. I, personally try to stay out of neighborhood "politics" but I can understand her frustration. Funny how our neighbor with the wandering dog is the "Block Captain" for the HOA and apparently reports on everyone for the most miniscule violation and yet wont do anything about her own. This could get interesting. On the other hand maybe the dog will bring us a treasure. Yeah, right. Wonder what he did with the pepper shaker?

Kids and TV (Commercials)

Most adults I know really don't care for commercials. There are some notable exceptions. I love the Aflac commercial with Yogi Berra and the Geico commercials. But small children love commercials. Why? I don't know. I have seen kids stop playing to watch some silly ad. I've even been in the way of a child running from another room to get to the tv in time to view a commercial. Being in the way of a small child on the run to a commercial is about like being in the way of a hungry lion about to eat fresh meat. Not a pretty sight. Why do kids do this? It is a scary thought when you realize a kid knows the lines or lyrics of a commercial, but not the ABC's. I think we have all seen this at one time or another. My own children loved commercials when they were little. Of course,during the week, they were only allowed to watch PBS. I really think some of these programs helped them learn to read. I let them watch cartoons on Saturday morning. But they still developed the fascination with tv ads. I was one of those mothers who kept a close watch on tv. I tried not to us the tv as a baby sitter. Sometimes it was hard. Turning off the tv to get the kids to play together sometimes was a battle. I really think they liked the sounds regardless of what was actually on tv at the time. When they were small they loved to "dance" around to the music of some of the ads. And of course later they discovered that some of the commercials were directed to them. That's when the war started. "Mom, I want that" was constantly heard around our house. Usually the answer was "No". When you have three pre-school kids at home resistance is the key. Yeah, mean old Mom won't let us have... Gotta draw the line somewhere. That'll teach you to run over me to get to that commercial!

Ad Sense

I think most of us really either don't like advertizing or just ignore it. I now flip the channel every time I see Taylor Hicks singing for Ford. Dr.Z is not the doctor I would choose. So this morning I saw something funny, at least to me. A man uses the facility in a public place. As he stands there doing his thing, he sees something at the bottom of the urinal. It's an ad! Not only that it is talking to him! Ok, to me that is a little extreme. Men are not known for having good aim, right? Now, just imagine the panic caused by this ad. Gives new meaning to the phrase "waving the wand". Then there is the decision by some airlines to place ads on the "barf bags". Is this a good idea? Anyone who has to use the bag is certainly not interested in what the ad on the bag says. I've heard that advertizing people are trying to think of new and creative ways to get their message across. Is there no place sacred anymore? Sorry guys. Wonder what they will do in the women's restroom? At least I've never had to use the bag on a plane. I have read the airline's magazines. There are enough ads there, thanks. Somehow, the thought of an unsuspecting man discovering an ad at the bottom of a urinal is funny. At least to me.

A Nothing Day

Nothing. It's one of those hot summer days which inspire nothing. Nothing of importance is happening. Nothing happened yesterday either. The dogs have decided to have nothing to do with each other. One is in one room, the other in a different room. I have to pay the electric bill today. I will have nothing left after I do. I have been searching for a cheaper place to live, found nothing, yet. We need to clean out our storage building so that we can put extra furniture in it. What have we done? Nothing. We need to re-arrange the garage, yet have done nothing. I need to do some things in the garden, yet I go outside and do nothing. I need to buy groceries but nothing appeals to me. The Astros are doing nothing to make fans think they will go to the post season. The Texas City police, FBI and ATF made a big production of blowing up some possible bomb making material found in an apartment. The complex was evacuated, the media was kept at a distance, news choppers kept two miles away. The material was detonated. What happened? Nothing. People were led to believe this would be a big news story. Apartment complex demolished by bomb squad. Not really. After they detonated all the material and the resulting fire, nothing else really happened. But it is Friday. The weekend is near. Wonder what we will do. Probably nothing.

Nice

Well the real Astros showed up last night. Clemens vs Maddux. The match of 2 future Hall of Fame players was a game to watch. Both pitchers have over 300 career wins. Sports writers and broadcasters loved it. Both pitchers pitched well in a game that we may not see again. It's not often two such legends pitch against each other. For once the 'Stros had enough run support to help Roger win, although once again, the bullpen nearly emploded by giving up two runs. But a win is a win and we'll take it. Of course as up and down as the team has been, what will today's game hold? Hopefully a win. Go 'Stros!

What Happened?

Phil Garner must wonder what happened. Of course the Astros have always been a second half team...but. Time's awasting. I'm sure that people thought the addition of another bat in the name of Aubrey Huff would help. Well, maybe or maybe not. From day to day no-one knows what will happen. One day the bats are blazing, one day they are not. One day we have good pitching, one day we dont. The bullpen continues to befuddle everyone. Should we get rid of Lidge? Putting Wandy in the pen is a question mark at best. Even the starters have had, so far, lackluster seasons. Andy is finally looking better, but Roger, to me, seems unfocused and uncomfortable. Even Oswalt cant seem to find the right combination. Seems odd that the rookie pitchers seem to be doing somewhat better than the "stars" but from start to start who knows how they will pitch. No matter what, it doesn't help the pitching staff when the bats don't bring in the runs. Too many runners are left on base. It doesn't do any good to score 12 runs in one game if run support is lacking in the next three games. Last year the team started gaining some consistency in the second half. What happened? At this point, the Astros still seem to be trying to figure out what to do. With the third highest payroll in baseball, Drayton must be wondering what else can he do? Spend more money, fire the GM or the Manager, or give up hopes for this year and bring up kids from AAA. Things could still turn around, giving the team at least a fighting chance. But the season could also end with everyone wondering what happened. I hope it's not too late. Wake up 'Stros!

Football and the FBI

I saw a story on tv the other day that struck me funny. It seems that the Houston Texans football team was visited by the FBI. Actually the FBI was there to try to recruit the players to join the FBI after their playing days are over. Why wait? The FBI could put the whole team in undercover operations. After all, the team did masquerade as a pro football team last year. They could work in counter-intelligence. But the defense could not counter the other teams offense so that may be out. Or David Carr could work on the kidnap team, finding people who have been kidnapped and transported across state lines. On the other hand, that may not be such a good idea. If he couldn't find a receiver in less than 100 yards, how could he find someone in another state?

Maybe some of the players will consider a future in government service with the FBI. But what does that say about the FBI?

I Woke Up This Morning

I guess waking up is a good thing. Lately things seem to be going down hill. With all that has been going on around here, Jimmy is feeling depressed. After all the years of doing for people he feels that it was not worth it. We really made a mistake renting this house, but now we seem to be stuck between a rock and a hard place. Can't afford to stay, can't afford to move. Little did we know that this house would be such a money pit. We thought we were doing the right thing, imagine that! Everytime the kids came to visit when we lived in an apartment we were too crowded, so we rented a big house with a big yard. Now no-one visits. My son and step daughter always whined about not having money but they dont seem to really want to do anything about it. Pat always wanted to mow the yard for a few extra bucks, but always had something else to do. We hired someone to do it for $25 week, the Amanda crabbed that she wanted to do it. Right, she's never around. When she is she's locked away in her room or on the phone. It's hard to mow with one hand.

Funny how things work for some people. Some people always seem to have things go their way. I keep trying to encourage Jimmy not to get down on everything, but this week has been bad for him. He never seems to have time to take a vacation, cause he is the "only one" who can do somethings. There never seems to be a good time for him. Of course when you cant even get any support from the boss, what do you expect? Jimmy's feeling blue lately cause he feels that he's always the one to help out people, but favors never seem to be returned.

I keep trying to tell him that things will get better. Our luck can't always be bad, but he still feels bad. He's gotten where he doesnt care anymore. For years I was always the one who was depressed and felt like a failure. I've worked myself out of this and have been more upbeat and positive in the last few yeas. I just wish I could help him feel better. He just wont listen. I think it's time for the Higher Power to take charge...

Honesty Remains Elusive

Well, once again deception has raised it's ugly head. More and more I believe that we are too soon old and too late smart. I am still left to wonder why family members who are "adult", that is over 21, do not have the ability to tell the truth. Last week-end Amanda told us that she "might" be moving nearer her mother. The operative word here is "might". Little did we know that there was no might about it. It was a done deal. We began to feel that she was not being honest about a lot things when she moved in with us after her surgery. We knew she was having money problems. Her Daddy even tried to help her figure out how to handle them. But, she didn't listen and, I don't think she told him the whole story. She was the one that we thought would listen to opinions and reason. I guess we wasted our time. She has apparently decided to dump her life her and go hold her Mother's hand. Her mother is a master manipulator. She has obviously coerced Amanda into not only guilt, but the belief that Amanda's life here is too bad and she needs to come back. So, Amanda has decided to take backward steps. Now her father is completely pissed off and has basically written her off. He has had enough. He's tired of all the deception, laziness, and complete disregard for our family as a whole. We seem to always be the last to find out that we got screwed again. I'm afraid this was the last straw, the last story he will believe. His faith in his daughter has been severely shaken. I don't know if it can be repaired. The broom is about to sweep the tangled webs of deceit out of this family, maybe forever.

Duster Plus

I hate dusting. It's a useless chore. Dust one day, dust is back the next. I really hate to dust, of course folding laundry, ironing, vacuuming, mopping, and cooking are high on the list too. I hate dusting so much that I wait until the last minute to do it. When I can write my grocery list on the dinning room table, it's time to dust! I really hate dusting! So I saw a commercial for the Pledge Duster Plus on tv and I begain to think about it. This may be good for all the window blinds I thought. I hate to dust the blinds, so I rarely do it. On a trip to pick up some groceries I saw a display of the Duster Plus. Only $2.97, I figured I'll give it a try. The box came with a bendable handle and a multi-surface spray to "boost performance". "Bend Handle to Spray the Duster or Directly on Surface" the box says. The box comes with 1 Handle, 1 Multi-Surface Spray and 2 Disposable Dusters. So I open up the handle, insert the spray bottle and put the duster on. Well, it took 2 trys to put the duster on. The first time I put it on backwards. Armed with my new dusting tool, off I went to the dust wars. I dusted tables, book shelves,books, knicknacks, tvs, computers, printers and window blinds. Not bad I thought. Worked real well on the blinds. So I was impressed. I picked up a lot of dust. Of course, after I looked at the box I discovered I wasn't supposed to use on hot things like light bulbs. Come on ...would I do that? So I wonder how often should I change the duster. It looked pretty dirty to me. Great, I thought, one use and I have to toss it! Will I be able to buy the dusters by themselves? Then I saw a statement on the box that really got me! "Each Duster Contains Over 1.5 Miles of Dust Grabbing & Trapping Fibers". Uh, how did they arrive at that figure? Did someone lay each individual bit of fluff end to end and measure it? Are they sure? What happens if one has 1.2 miles of fiber, or 1.8? How do they measure the quality control? How did they cram 1.5 miles of fiber onto something that is only 8 inches long? And why am I obscessing over this? Did I mention I really hate dusting? In the long run, (how many miles?)it did a good job and I was satisfied. The box did caution against spraying on the floor as it would make it slippery. Why would I do that? I'm certainly not about to get on my hands and knees to dust the floor! The "extra long" handle isn't that long! At roughly 10 inches, I wouldn't call it "extra" long. But, I did get the job done in record time, but I still hate dusting.

The Great Red Hunter

Annoying is the word. Daisy has discovered that birds are everywhere. Every day she pesters me to take her out to the backyard time after time after time. Does she do her business? No, she scours the skys, trees and fences for the winged prey. Anything over her head is fair game. Whether it is a dove or a sparrow, it doesn't matter. Even an occasional squirrel on a tree or the fence is a cause to chase. I, on the other hand, would prefer to attract birds since I have a bird feeder and bird bath back there. I've always loved birds, even my idiot parrot Astro, the loud mouth. Somehow Daisy thinks I am her hunting guide and that at any moment I should drop what I am doing and take her out to sniff out the quarry. I think not little girl. Get over yourself. Lady is laughing at you. You're never gonna get that bird.

Chapters of Life

Our lives are chapters of books to which we will not read the ending. As children we all want time to hurry so we can be adult. How many kids have looked toward their 21st birthday for reasons like voting, drinking or just getting out of the house or school.Jobs are an important start to real growth. Amanda moved in with us before her junior year in high school. Until then, as a child of divorce, we saw her every other weekend and a month during summer. We were a little surprised, yet happy when she decided to move in with us. She had a taste of "life in the big city" and liked it. After all she'd most of her life in the small town of Edna. About 100 miles from Houston, Edna is the typical tiny town where not much happens and what does isn't always good. And of course, everybody smells your business almost before you've done it. Jimmy and I left a similar town in 1999 and have never looked back.

When Amanda decided to move in with us, her mother told her that she wouldn't be happy and would never make it here. How wrong she was. Amanda did very well. She went from a high school of less than 2,000 total to nearly 2,000 per class. Then she found a part-time job and worked up to management. After she finished school she got another full-time job and gained experience and saved enough money to move out on her own. She started out renting a little house with her cousin and later moved to a larger house that she and her brother and his girl-friend and her son shared.

That's when the problems started. That house turned out to be a giagantic money pit. The house had some serious problems that for some reason the landlord would not fix.It cost a fortune to stay there. So about the time Amanda had her surgery, she and her brother and his girlfriend decided to part company. By, this time Amanda was mired in debt for many reasons. So after her surgery, she moved in with us to try to save money. In the process, she sold her truck and bought a used car. Naturally the payments and insurance are huge. Not saving any money that way, right? Then she learned that her younger half-sister was becoming difficult to handle. Her sister is nearly 16 and has multiple retardation issues. It has become increasingly hard for Amanda's mother to handle her. In fact, her sister has become combative and uncontrolable to the point that she soon will have to be put in a home. Obviously this has distressed Amanda's mother who feels that she has failed as a parent. But now, Amanda feels guilty and afraid that her mother will break down after her sister goes to a home. So last night Amanda announced to us that she has decided to move back near her mother. She's going to see if she can transfer to a store near Edna. Here in lies the rub. While we sympathize with her and her mother, should she give up her life her to go back to the small town and "hold her mother's hand"? I've know several people who gave up their lives to go home to take care of family. My father moved form Texas to Alabama to be with his elderly mother, even though two of his brothers already lived near her. He gave up his life and they didn't. Amanda's mother is not elderly and has a husband. I hope that Amanda will be ok. I admire her willingness to help, but I hope she's not jumping into something that will ruin her plans to get back on her own. She's already got enough problems of her own and now she wants to take on more unending, difficulties. It's a lot to put on the shoulders of a 22 year old girl. I hope that she will be strong enough to be her mother's crutch and continue to grow into the woman she is destined to be.

I guess her Houston chapter is closing and the Edna chapter is opening, or should I say re-opening. She always said she loved it here in Houston and never wanted to leave. I really don't think she has thought this out completely. She's having debt problems now and I fear she will just end up digging herself in deeper. But hopefully she will learn from this. Her Dad and I think this is a mistake, but we wish her the best as she reads this difficult chapter in her life story.

Contemplating My Navel

It's Friday and I feel strangely at peace. As I walked through the backyard yesterday I wondered how hard it would be to mow the "jungle out there". The yard can't take much more water I thought as I splashed through the mush and the rain drops. Hurry up Daisy. So later in the afternoon the lawn service that does a bunch of yards around here was working next door. Since Jimmy was home, he decided to go talk to the guy. So we got the guy to mow and edge the yard for $25. Not bad considering how high the grass was.

So not having to fight with the yard left me with time to contemplate my navel. I mean contemplate some important things. Does any body, besides me, miss Charlie Gibson on GMA? I miss him already. Sigh. So, I have seen the new Ford commercial with Taylor Hicks so much that I am sick of it! Does any one really make money with Google AdSense? Is there really money to be made, without having to answer "call center" calls or pay someone to "teach" you how to make money? Is Big Brother All-Stars going to be worth watching? Has any one noticed that there are still no pictures of TomKat's baby? Is there really a baby? I don't need to wonder why "Lost" and "Desperate Housewives" didn't get emmy nominatiions. They weren't that good last year.

Gee, I don't care if it rains again this week-end. My yard is already done. And every time I look at the hole in the fence, I feel an evil grin coming on. Now, if I could just get the fireworks to stop. Money, money, money up in loud smoke! Maybe I'll just sleep in tomorrow. Sure, I will. Daisy has other plans as usual! Hopefully, the Astros will have a good series against St.Louis. Go 'Stros!

I Must Have an Evil Twin

I said a little prayer again for the dog next door. I really thought he had bought the farm over the weekend. I worried about that dog all weekend. But, yesterday afternoon I couldn't help but notice that he was back. While I was outside feeding Astro, I saw motion through the fence. Let's face it,that fence is so worn out, it's not hard to miss anything in that yard. Here we go again I thought as I saw him being put back on his chain. Great, I thought, wonder how long it will take him to jump the fence this time. I didn't have long to wait. It had been raining off and on most of the day. The sky was dark and threatening. No more than ten minutes later the thunder roared and the dog freaked, yet again. Soon the plywood my neighbor had used to block the fence hole was torn down again and the dog was sticking his head through the fence. A few minutes later I looked out my kitchen window to discover that he had jumped over the fence again and was stuck in my yard. He was desperately trying to figure out how to jump back or at least run for cover. That was it. I went outside to the rescue. As I approached, he looked so happy to see me, seemingly pleading for help. So, with an evil grin on my face, I freed him. As I threw his chain and collar back over the fence, he seemed to say thanks and ran across my backyard to freedom.

Some people will never learn. They have had to pay hefty fines because of the way they have treated the poor dog. And yet, they continue treat their dog like a posession instead of a pet. So, I know it is not my business, but I will continue to be the evil one. I just can't stand to see that dog in such peril when he is so scared. Part of me hopes that he will, at some point, tear down the fence. It wouldn't take much for it to collapse.

So, my evil twin and I will continue to watch out for the dog. Have no fear dog, we've got your back. Yes, I am sitting here with an evil grin!

Enough is Enough

Funny, I know that fireworks are illegal in the city of Houston, but in the county they are not. Oh joy. You'd think people would not want to shoot off fireworks in the pouring down rain. Oh no, I think they do more. It started raining last weekend. As usual the minute the thunder started the fence climbing dog next door freaked. When I last saw him he was teetering on top of the six foot fence at the back of his yard. Naturally he was still on his chain. Next thing I see is my neighbor trying unsucessfully grab him from the fence. It didnt work. Over the fence the yapping dog went. Then the yapping stopped. I dont know what happened at that point. I hope the dog got away. I dont want to think of the other alternative. Of course I really didnt need to see my neighbor stark naked trying to climb the fence either. The sight of a short heavy black man naked is not what I wanted to see. Cheez.

So if that wasnt enough Daisy, who at first was terrified of fireworks, no longer sat in the chair quivering. Oh no, now she decided that she was mad. Ever listen to a dog bark non stop for hours? Now she considers it her job to rid her yard of the intruders by barking. She insisted on going outside to voice her opinion. With the hair on her back standing tall, she raced around the yard voicing her displeasure at all the noise! All night long the fireworks went on and on and on. One am, two am etc. How come Daisy didnt get hoarse? There was so much smoke in the neighborhood, I could barely see. Add this to non-stop rain, we have a mess. So far five inches of rain have accumulated in my rain gauge since this week-end. Bewteen fireworks and rain, it was a mess. I have no doubt there will be more fireworks and morde rain. Weather guys all say this will continue all week. Now where did I park my ark?

My Brain's Nose and Mind's Eye are Playing Games!

It has to be a holiday weekend since the Sci-Fi channel is showing a Twilight Zone marathon. I love that show. But sometimes I wonder if I dont live in my own Twilight Zone. Lately my brain's nose and my mind's eye have been showing my things some odd and some I haven't thought of in years.

Over the last several months I have become aware of wiffs of fragrances in the house similar to a perfume. I am the only one in the house when this happens. The odor is brief and just enough to get my attention. Since I'm the only one around when this happens, I know what fragrance I'm wearing and Amanda isn't home so what ever she has used has long since disappeared. It is always in the den, no where else in the house. This tends to grab my attention. This isn't a really old house and it's not built on ancient burial grounds. I just find the whole thing a little odd. Maybe my brain's nose is playing tricks on me.

Then there are pictures that my mind's eye is showing me. I equate this to thoughts I've had about life in general. Everyone remembers the "good old days". But sometimes the pictures are so real ,as if I were watching a movie. Some are of things that a shrink would probably say were of traumatic memories. I've always remembered when I was three and having eye surgery in New York City. Obviously it was upsetting to a child that young. But I see it clearly. I also have flashes of our home in Tuscaloosa, Brewton and North Augusta. I can even see the detail of furniture and the outside surroundings. My mind's eye recently took me back to the beaches at Panama City and Destin Florida. I see my father's feet sunburned or my mother and I sitting on the beach. Some are obviously traumatic, like sitting in a chair in the hospital room at M.D.Anderson the moment my mother died. Others are just warm and fuzzy memories. I never know when or what will trigger these, but sometimes I feel that I am reliving my life in warp-speed. Maybe I should give Stephen King a call. He's the "Dreamscapes" captain. Or how about Shirley MacLain, she's lived several lives. Right? Or maybe someone is trying to tell me something?