How Charmin

We have so much variety in our lives now. Isn't it wonderful. We can choose different cereals and different flavored chips. Our colas have flavors. Even the bottled water has flavors. Yeah, the liquor companies have fallen prey to those who want variety too. Why toilet paper? Now Charmin has come up with an extra strength toilet paper. What? I guess it now would be too strong for old Mr Whipple to squeeze. For years Charmin has advertised that their toilet paper was gentle and soft. Well, I guess we have some extra strength poopers out there. Charmin now has a choice of soft or extra strength toilet paper. Why? I know there are a lot of people who are full of poop in Washington, but I don't think they are the sales targets for Charmin. Do we really need extra strength toilet paper? Is this a way for Charmin to get on the conservation band wagon? If we use the extra strength Charmin does that mean we will use less? If we use less, I guess Sheryl Crow will be happy. I can just see it now, four squares of Charmin extra strength will do twice as much as eight of the softer brands. But, we must remember that Charmin still has the wonderfully soft and gentle paper, too. For all the hard asses out there, Charmin extra strength is the choice. For the old softies out there, the old stand-by squeezably soft Charmin will do. Don't worry Mr. Whipple. At least they have not figured out how to put color in the toilet paper yet. Too much chance of irritation from the dye. But, who knows, someday some brilliant toilet paper engineer will figure out how to make toilet paper soft yet strong and in designer colors, too.