Grab a Box of Wine

I'm in a hurry. How come this store has some large bottles of red wines but no white wines. I need a large bottle of white wine. The last time Jan was here I had to get an extra bottle of her favorite wine. I'm not saying she drinks a lot but the word lush comes to mind. Oh wait, that is what she calls Daisy.

Why is it when I am in a hurry I can't find what I want. Ok, I guess that I will just grab the box of wine. Wine in a box is such a strange concept to me. I get the box home. I put it in the refrigerator to cool down for later. Of course I have to move things around to make room. Note to self, a box of wine takes up more room than a bottle of the same stuff. And I thought I had only had to move things around for the turkey.Ha!

Ok, then comes the grand opening. I take the box out. Let me see, how do I open the box? Ah, push tab one, then push tab two, pull down tab three. Why do I get the feeling I am about to do an episiotomy? I'll just make a little cut down here so the baby will have an easier time coming out, ok? Tell that to the bag of wine. After I did the first three steps, I look for the pour spout. This is not as easy as it looks. Reaching around in the box for that slippery, shinny bag, oh yeah. Where is a gynocologist when you need him? I finally grab hold of that shinny little bag and rotate the shoulders, I mean pull up the pour spout so I can see it. Is it a boy or a girl? Can't tell by the spout. Finally I find how to pull out the spout so that I can pour the wine. Turn the knob on the bag counter clockwise. Where is the opening? Good thing I am not in a hurry for a glass of this wine. Oh, I see it. It is not a screw cap or cork. Ok, I don't have to remove the top of this. So I have to hold the box upright to clear the baby , I mean pour the wine. Finally a glass of wine is born, I mean poured. Ah, here's to you, or me.

Just who is the idiot who dreamed up a box of wine? How dare he think it is easy to open! Right! The spout is easy to pop out pouring the wine is so easy. I think I have the hang of it now. That is after I cleaned up the spilled wine from the counter. So which is easier, opening a box of wine and pouring it, or having a baby? After a lot of pain and work they both come out ok. At least I can toss the box after it is empty.