Friday, February 15, 2008

Falling Satellite-Call Bruce Willis

So the US Navy is going to attempt to shoot a wayward spy satellite out of the sky. The satellite is about the size of a bus and has about 1000 pounds of toxic rocket in it. We certainly don't want this thing causing danger to us. Or maybe we just need an excuse to practice shooting down things. We are, after all, worried about China. So the USS Lake Erie will attempt to shoot the wayward satellite out of harm's way. What if they miss? I understand they may have a slight chance to try again. So what if the second try fails? Where is Bruce Willis when we need him.

All worries about danger and toxic fuel aside, just imagine if a piece of this fell, say on a house or a car. I can just see the call to the insurance company now. The phone rings at ABC Insurance Company.

Homeowner, " I need to make a claim on damage to my house".

Insurance agent. " All right, sir. How can we help you?"

Homeowner, " A satellite fell on my house."

Sounds of laughter can be heard over the phone as the homeowner tried to convince the agent that this really happened.

Agent, "Come on, this is a joke right? Who put you up to this?

Homeowner, "I am not kidding, a satellite fell on my house! If you don't believe me, get your adjusters out here to look!"

Agent, still laughing says "Ok, ok, what makes you so sure it was a satellite?"

By now the homeowner is fuming. "Look, I have had a policy with you for 20 years, are you going to help me or not? I am telling you it is a satellite!"

As the agent waves to his office mates to listen in he in all seriousness says,"Sir, I am sorry, but your homeowners policy does not cover damage by satellite."

By now the homeowner is livid. He screams at the agent. As he tries to regain his composure, he hears a loud rumbling. As he looks out his window, part of the satellite falls onto his car. He starts to cry.

The agent hearing this gets serious. "Sir, I am so sorry... Sir, are you crying? Why are you crying?"

The homeowner tells him through his tears," The satellite just fell on my car."

The the agent lets out an audible sigh. "Well sir, you'll have to call your car insurance company. We don't cover car damage."

Should have called Bruce Willis.

4 comments:

Jess said...

I saw this on the news last night. Scary stuff. Were all gonna die! lol

quilly said...

If it's only the size of a bus we're not ALL going to die ...

And if they miss, what will the rocket they shoot at it hit? I am very interested in the collateral damage as well. Think about it:

Nightly News Broadcaster: The good news is the second rocket hit its target and the satellite has been diverted. The bad news is, the first rocket sheared off a slice of the moon that is roughly the size of Texas and it's heading for your house ....

Dr.John said...

Do you have a number for Bruce Willis? Just in case.

pineapple said...

This whole thing reminds me of Sky Lab. Part of it fell on that Australian guy's roof and the San Francisco paper paid him $10,000. Good times!