If I Get a Divorce...

We lead such an exciting life here. The weekends seem to be filled with the excitment of watching sports or TCM movies during the day. Yawn. My dear husband, Jimmy, sleeps late. During the week he is up early so sleeping late is understandable. Then most of the day he either plays poker online or watches tv. The tv could be a problem. Or rather the remote. We have gotten into a habit of switching channels during commercials. Then there is the problem of who controls the remote. If he is playing poker, I control the remote. But when he sits down in front of the tv he likes to use the remote.

After this weekend if I were to file for divorce the remote would be listed as a co-respondent. How can anyone keep up with any program while switching channels so often? For example, Sunday we sat down to watch the Houston Texans game. Every time things did not go well, he changed the channel. First he turned it to a movie on TMC. Then as soon as I got into the plot, he changed the channel. Back to the Texans we went. He didn't like what he saw there, so he switched to the History Channel which had a story about Al Capone and the old mob wars. Ok, so I start to watch that. Guess who nods off? Guess who has the remote in his hand? I try to take the remote. "What are you doing?" he said. "Well, you were sleeping..." I said. "No I wasn't" and so on. Then he switched to the car race. Then back to the football game he went. The back to the movie. The he moved to some show on VH1 with a few pink haired girls trying to decide how to seduce some guy. At least one of these girls was getting drunk. Then back to the History Channel, then back to the game. No wait he is sleeping again, oh no he woke up, back to the race.

In the middle of all these changes the Texans either scored, were intercepted or did something else. The he wondered what happened. I think to myself "how do I know?" At this point I feel like going upstairs to watch tv. I think maybe next weekend I will have to do that. I don't think he will care. Then again if I come back down stairs he might ask what did. Should I tell him? Or should I just include the remote as the reason for divorce? Oh well, at least we have two tvs. I don't fall asleep with the remote in my hand. At least I don't think I do.