Friday, March 13, 2009

I Feel Like I'm Nowhere

So I was in the middle of printing up a list of the bills and how and when to pay them. Since it was raining yesterday, Jimmy couldn't do all the work he needed to do. That left him with time to pick up his truck from the shop, to the tune of $523. At least we have known our mechanic so long he told Jimmy to pay him when ever he could.

As I printed up the bill list, Jimmy asked why I was being so nice to him. Well, he has been nice to me, why not? He bought me a surge protector for my computer. It seems that even though he wants me to leave our life is almost normal at times. Yesterday we were talking about all the stuff I've packed and what was in the storage building. Then in the middle of this conversation I had to do a "Huh?" when he asked what would I do in 6 months or a year if he called me to come back. Say what?!

Come on dude, quit sending me mixed signals. I can't take this! I have this strange feeling that after I've been gone a while he might discover that he really didn't want this. I know he has issues of some kind that he needs to solve. I shouldn't read anything into this, but one can hope. Sometimes I just don't know what to think. I feel like I have been through Hell during this. I wish I knew what to think...


cube said...

Geez, I wouldn't know what to make of that either. I guess it would be up to you at that point to decide if you even want him back.

Dr.John said...

This stage in a break up always frustrated me as a counselor. He was no longer sure he wanted out and she was not sure she wanted him back.
Sometimes they worked it through and lived sorta happily ever after, sometimes they got back together only to see it fall apart down the road, and sometimes they went on to lead separate lives.