Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Take a Few Minutes

Friends and families come in all shapes and sizes. The most important thing about them is just that-them. Today we are seeing more and more families coping with issues they had not planned to have. Frequently called "the sandwich generation", they must deal with raising children as well as caring for aging parents or grandparents. The very fact that these friends and family stay in touch is important to the well being of them all. Our time together is short. We may not think so but it is. We are all so busy with ourselves that we wake up one day and discover we forgot to call Aunt Bess. Now we can't because she passed away. We did not take the time. We think sadly, "if only... "

I remember the losses in my life. My parents, my in-laws and even some friends are gone. I can't get them back. Sometimes I will see some reminder that takes me back to another time and wish that I could talk to those I have lost. My mother and I did not always get along, especially when I was a teen. She was gone at 49. So many times I wish I could talk to her. My father lamented that she was the one who wanted grandchildren. He would rather have her. But as luck would have it, he lived to see the grandchildren she wanted. Over the years he became my best friend. Back then we had no IM or e-mail, we wrote letters or talked on the phone. Though he did not see them often, for a guy who didn't really care about having grandkids, he enjoyed them. Now he is just a fading memory for them.

We are only here a short time. We need to remember to take that time and use it well. Don't end up saying, "why didn't I?" I heard someone say "talk to me now, don't talk about me later cause I won't care then." Families and friends rush to the aid of those grieving for a loved one. This is comforting for sure. Then again, how many times have I heard someone say they had been meaning to stop by but... We all have busy lives. It is not always easy to drive across town to see that old uncle in the nursing home. Few of us like to visit nursing homes. They can be depressing. But sometimes there is no choice. We can't always cope with kids, work and parents or grandparents. Some of our friends or family are lucky enough to be independent until the end. Of course some of our old friends and family can be crabby and annoying. But we must remember it's better to talk to them now, rather than about them later.


Anonymous said...

My gram always used to say, "Bring flowers while I'm alive or don't come puttin' them on my grave!"

When she was alive I brought her flowers weekly. When I visit her grave, I leave nothing but my tears.

Dr.John said...

A very good and thoughtful post.

maria said...

Excellent post.

I lived 650 miles away from my parents when they were still with us.

I called them long distance a few times a week, so I got to talk to them a lot. It costed a little fortune but it was so worth it.

How I wish I could still talk to them.

bettygram said...

Very important thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Mom,

I'm glad that I keep in touch with you. I'm sorry that others don't do the same.

You've done more for me than you will ever know. I'm greatful for it, and I'm so lucky to have you and Jimmy in my life.

I love you!

And I do remember Grandpaw, I miss him sometimes. I don't remember much, but what I do is still there in my mind.

cube said...

You are spot on with this post. We are all guilty of not appreciating those we love while they're with us. Thanks for the reminder... I'm off to see my folks :-)