Wednesday, January 11, 2006

And the Winner Is..

Once again, it is the start of award season. Golden Globes, People's Choice, Oscars and on and on to infinity. So, for the very first time I am presenting my own awards which are not annual,semi-anual or on a time schedule. Actually, these awards are a figment of my fractured imagination and may recur or may not. I just think it is time to honor, or not, what I feel has made a significant impact on life as I know it.

So, here comes the Jilly Awards, dedicated to nothing special and everything in general.

The first award is for the most obnoxious noise maker I know. The winner is (drum roll, please): Astro, the Double Yellow Headed Amazon, who by the way does not have two heads.His performance of loud raucous parrot speak, frequently making it nearly impossible to hear what anyone says prompting the quick throwing of the blanket over his cage earned him this. Congratulations Astro!

The next award goes to Daisy for creating havoc by barking and picking at Lady as soon as I leave the room. Nice work Daisy.

The next Jilly goes to Lady for standing at the door whining and scratching to get out the minute I leave the room.

Next, we have the Jilly for the Most Irritating Display of affection, love and silliness on the planet. That has to go to TomKat by a landslide.

Moving on to the sports section of the Jilly Awards. There are three awards in this group. The first goes to the Houston Texans for the Worst Portrayal of a Professional football team. Moving right along comes the Jilly for the Best Performance by a College football team. Obviously this must go to the University Of Texas Longhorns for its un-defeated National Championship season. Are you watching,Texans?And our last sports one goes to the Houston Astros for taking a team that was,by some, pronounced dead on June 1st,2005, to its first ever World Series.

The next award is a lilttle more serious. My land lord earns this for not fixing the fence as he had promised, as well as ignoring the bees who have taken up residence under the siding on the house. The lack of up-keep on the insulation and the 20 plus year old AC and Heating systems also helped earn him this honor.

And now for the final(until I think of something else) Jilly. For the Best Ruining of a day in les than thirty seconds, the Jilly goes to my electric company. Sending me the highest bill ever just two weeks after Christmas earns this award.

Congratulations to all my Jilly Award winners. You are all deserve your awards!

3 comments:

cube said...

Good lord, your pets sound as crazy as ours.

Abe Lincoln said...

Thanks for stopping at http://blog.efx2.com/user/oldmanlincoln/ and leaving a comment about god and the blue jay post. I appreciate it and answered the post there.

S said...

Who needs kids when you have animals! I guess I should be thankful all Izzy does is get in my face & stare at me when she wants something.

Ugh on the electric bill! TXU will be enforcing their rate increase soon & I just know it's gonna send me up into the $300's & that's with us being on average billing! SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS!!!

And SHAME ON YOU LANDLORD! SHAME ON YOU!