Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Christmas is When?

I just realized that Christmas is right here, just about to beat down the door. Why do I feel that it is coming earlier this year? Maybe because I am getting older? This whole year has gone by so fast I wonder why I don't have whip-lash. Yesterday was July 4th right?. No? You mean I missed Labor Day, Thanksgiving and now Christmas is coming? I guess it's a good thing I put up that little tree. Maybe by next year it will have grown. Years ago, we used to set up our decorations and Christmas tree at Thanksgiving. We used to have the whole family come for dinner. Now I couldn't fit everyone in this tiny little space. I know that it's just around the corner. After all I have already watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" on TCM. I've seen several Christmas movies on ABC Family Channel. All the early shows like Good Morning America, The Early Show and the Today show have been decorated for Christmas. Even the Sports channels like ESPN have decorations. Where was I? Many of my neighbors have their homes lit up with lights and lawn decorations are everywhere. I did put out a few decorations. here is a snowman on the desk here. Small candles in the shapes of sleighs, trees, and Santa. Even my downstairs bathroom has Christmas towels in it. But that was all last minute thoughts.

We got our annual Christmas card from our insurance company and Aunt Pat. Aunt Pat always sends us her "Year in Review" letter along with the card. I gave up sending cards years ago. The rest of our family seems to have given up that tradition too. Of course there are times when we are lucky to remember who we all are. These are the days when everyone seems to do their own thing. Not only that but most of the family is scattered around Texas which makes visiting each other a monumental event. Flying is something I used to enjoy, but that is know. Have you heard "Grandma Got Molested at the Airport"? There is a lesson in there somewhere, I think.

Actually I am really glad that I don't have to fight to buy and hide toys anymore. But I still remember the days when you would set foot into a house and be taken back to a different time. The home always smelled like the season. If cookies weren't in the oven, they were cooling on the racks. Candles burned brightly with festive sents. Sometimes just a hint of the smell of a warm apple pie candle or a bayberry or pine scented candle would be enough to send anyone back to a simpler, slower time.

But now the simpler, slower time seems to go faster and faster. So fast, sometimes I think I missed it all. Maybe it's just me. I remember going to buy a live tree with my parents. Today when I do see a live tree, I can't help but think that it's not the same. We do thinks so fast today. When family comes to visit do they talk to each other? No, They sit on the couch, each with a laptop or phone texting each other. What ever happened to talking?

Yes I did suddenly realize how close we are to Christmas. Some people would like to flash forward and be done with it. Not me. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do more, even if it is just putting a quarter in that red kettle. At least I don't have to battle the scotch tape or try to figure out how to wrap an odd shaped present. Where's the figgy pudding? So before I loose track of time again, I would like to say Happy Holidays to everyone!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

All She Needs is a Miracle

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I've been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for. A good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again."