Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Misadventures of Bailey and Landry

In case anyone cares - it was cold last night! It was a three dog night and I'm short on dogs. Lady and Daisy aren't quite enough. We could have had four dogs in the house. We did for a while.Just imagine two mini-dachshunds and two labs all in the same room. Let's see I fished two toys out of the labs mouths yesterday. Hum. The labs usually stay outside but...

Annie got a call saying her dogs had gotten out and were roaming the street. Luckily they were found and brought back. Bailey and Landry (named after characters on "Friday Night Lights") were very, very naughty. Yes, even Supernanny, Jo Frost would probably not have been happy with them. So how did they get out? Over the last several weeks I had seen them standing at the fence. They would stand on their hind legs watching me take Lady or Daisy out in the front yard. Bailey and Landry would bounce around on their hind legs, wagging their tails. They wanted to play. It occurred to me that if they gave it some thought they could easily jump the fence. So when they went awol Annie and I figured that might be what they had done. When they escaped a second time, we really got worried. I was outside walking Lady when the two labs came bounding up the street to see us. Want'a play? We ended up bringing them inside until we could think of something.

Of course bringing two BIG dogs inside was not what Lady and Daisy wanted, not to mention what Willy, the cat, thought. So after grabbing the toys out of the "big mouths" we had to clean all the toys up and put them out of reach. The labs just wanted a little fun. Willy was not happy with the chase game. Daisy bared her teeth every time they came near her. "Don't you dare put your paws on me" she seemed to say. Lady just growled. She stood her ground against the giants. Daisy tried to run and hide, except when Annie brought the BIG rawhide bone inside that Bailey and Landry like to play with. Daisy actually swiped it out from under them!

For some reason Bailey and Landry liked to follow me around the house. Every where I went they followed. They oddly seemed at ease around me and stayed "calm and submissive" as "The Dog Whisperer" Cesar Milan would say. I would think it a little crazy myself but for the fact that most dogs seem to like me. I don't know how many times I have been some place where they was a mean or annoying dog. The owners would always tell me "He's mean or he bites..." Not me! I sit down and almost any dog thinks suddenly I am the best friend! Maybe they think I look like a dog? I don't think I smell like a dog. At least no-one has told me that. Sometimes I wonder if dogs liking me is a good thing or a bad thing.

Later when Jason got home from work he went out to the back yard, thinking that Bailey and Landry might have to be tied onto a lead outside for a while. Let's face it. Two big, lovable dogs and two little boys could spell trouble inside a house. The dogs could stand up at the counter and steal supper with no problem. Lady and Daisy have to wait until something drops. But Jason found the problem. The dogs had not jumped the fence has we had suspected. They just walked out the back of it. It seems that one side which was connected to the neighbor's fence had come loose making a nice open door. Aha! The escape route had been found. Once Jason solved the problem, the fence was once again intact. The adventures of Bailey and Landry came to an end. Further escape was foiled. That is until they really learn how to jump the fence.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Woman Gets Ticket For Not Speaking English

A Dallas area woman's daughter missed the school bus. So naturally the mother was a little bit upset. She hurried to her car to take her daughter to school. In her rush she apparently forgot to grab her driver's license. Oops! That was her first mistake. I'm sure there are many of us who have done the same thing. Shame, shame.

The woman got pulled over by a Dallas police officer for making an illegal U-turn. He also ticketed her for no driver's license and then he also gave her a third ticket for being a non-English speaking driver. Say what? Well there is a federal law that says commercial drivers must speak English. But there is no such state law for individual drivers in Texas. The woman is learning English so it is not as if she spoke no English at all. For most people it is humiliating enough to get one ticket while taking a child to school. She got three.

Of course the media jumped all over this story. The Dallas Police Department regretted what happened and said they thought it was clearly a mistake by an officer in training. The woman said it seemed to her that the rookie cop needed more training. A court dismissed the non English speaking driver ticket. I just hope she doesn't plan on getting a job as a commercial truck driver. At least until she has learned to speak English a little better.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Persistence Pays, Or How to Annoy the Hell Out of People

We are often told when we are young to work hard and be persistent. Chase those dreams, never give up. Keep trying. In everything from school work to athletics, to job hunting, we are told keep trying. But how much persistence is too much?

I remember how annoying a whining child can be. Sometimes we give in just to shut them up. I even remember how annoying spouses can be. I really don't miss that. My dogs sit up and beg for what ever they want at the moment. They will sit there in front of me, just staring at me until I notice them. Then, of course, I have to get up and do something for them. Once again they get what they want.

Let's not forget the telemarketers, sales people or bill collectors either. Just how many times do I have to tell those cemetery plot sellers that I will only be there three days, don't bother me again. Even if I tell them I want to be cremated they want to sell me a plot to bury my ashes. Have you ever gone to the mall only to be accosted by some sweet young woman who wants to spray the latest perfume on you? No thank you, let go of my arm! I almost slugged one gal for following me. Talk about persistent!
There is a bill collector who calls everyday to my cell phone number. I wonder who had that number before me. They keep leaving a voice-mail telling me to call a number.I wonder if I can block them from calling my "SmartPhone". Then again maybe the phone just isn't that smart...

But the high point of annoying persistence happened this morning. Poor Annie has been beset with a bad case of allergies. She can't sleep and sneezes a lot. She was really tired this morning so she went back to bed. In the meantime, a friend of hers called, and called, and called. You'd think she would get the message that Annie is not going to answer the phone. No she kept calling, first the house phone, then Annie's cell phone. I lost count after the tenth time.

What was the reason the woman persisted in calling? She had driven by the grammar school and saw an ambulance there. She assumed that it was there for one of Annie's children. Why would she automatically assume that? So she tried to call Annie over and over. Thinking the worst the friend would not give up. When she could not get Annie to answer the phone, she then called Jason's office only to find out that he was not there. He was out on business. But the woman assumed that there must be something wrong. Yeah, there was! She was annoying me! How could Annie get any rest with the phone ringing so often? I have always thought that if no-one answered, leave a message. If she had called me that many times, she might not have liked what I would have said.

To get ahead in this world we do have to try hard to achieve out goals and never give up.It's a good mindset to have. Never back down, keep fighting for what you want. On the other hand, we can persist to the point of annoying the Hell out of everybody. Who's up next and what the Hell do you want now?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Good Advise

This was written by 90 year old Regina Brett of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio.

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8 It's OK to get angry with God.. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ''In five years, will this matter?".
26. Always choose life.
27. Forgive everyone everything.
28. What other people think of you is none of your business.
29.. Time heals almost everything.. Give time, time.
30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
31. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
32. Believe in miracles.
33.. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
34. Don't audit life Show up and make the most of it now.
35. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
36. Your children get only one childhood.
37. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
38. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
39. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back..
40. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
41. The best is yet to come
42. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
43. Yield
44. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
45. Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves

Monday, October 19, 2009

Don't think This Top 10 came From Letterman

Top 10 Reasons God Created Eve

10. God worried that Adam would always be lost in the garden because men hate to ask for directions.

9. God knew that Adam would one day need someone to hand him the TV remote.

8. God knew that Adam would never buy a new fig leaf when his seat wore out and would therefore need Eve to get one for him.

7. God knew that Adam would never make a doctor's appointment for himself.

6. God knew that Adam would never remember which night was garbage night.5. God knew that if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle childbearing.

4. As "Keeper of the Garden," Adam would never remember where he put his tools.

3. The scripture account of creation indicates Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone!"

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched His head and said, "I can do better than that."

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Slow News Day? Females in the News

First Lady Michelle Obama is now an "action figure" doll. Would you buy it? She is wearing her signature sleeveless dress.Even the doll's arms look good. Of course there is no word on what "action" the doll does. Nor is there any comment from the White House about the doll.

Maria Shriver is in hot water with her husband Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger of California. She's been caught using her cell phone while driving. Yes, some photographer caught her and now the pictures are all over. Gov.Schwarzenegger vows to "take swift action". Will the First Lady of California have her driver's license suspended by the governor?

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says she is at "peace" with herself and has no plans to run for President or even governor of any state. Really? So if the current President does not get re-elected what will she do? Somehow I don't see her as the happy homemaker type.

Miley Cyrus has quit Twitter. Oh how the world will just have to do without her tweets. Daddy,"One hit wonder" Billy Ray Cyrus wants her to get back on the bird and continue tweeting. Her boy friend doesn't. Now what was that song...? Oh yeah -"Achy, Breaky Heart". Get a life Billy.

But the most interesting (sort of) news of the day is the story from Akron,Ohio. Chetania Davis,22, pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault. Apparently Ms Davis attacked her 52 year old co-worker in the face with a stilleto heel. It was the co-worker's first day on the job. The attack occurred in the co-workers' dressing room. They both work at a club as exotic dancers. The younger dancer said she did not think the club needed any more dancers. The judge on the case sentenced Ms. Davis to one year probation and suspended a six month jail term. Ms. Davis accepted the plea because she wanted to move on with her life. Hopefully she was wearing a different pair of shoes when she said that to reporters.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I Used to Do It but Now I Don't Remember

Uh, now how do I do this again? Have you ever thought about something you hadn't done in a long time? When you thought of that did it occur to you that you might not remember how to do it? Do you ever really forget things, or wish you could?

The other day my son in law said something about fixing a favorite meal. We all have meals that we have as our "specialty" to cook. Some people grill steaks very well. Others make great chili or soup. In the South there are people who make really good Southern fried chicken. Here in Texas there are people who take great pride in their Mexican style food.

As I thought about this I wondered. Let me see...it's been seven months since I have actually cooked any thing. I thought about different things I used to fix for supper. Then the thought struck me - how do I make that? I don't remember. I used to do this all the time. Now, uh what do I do? Most of the things I have cooked were not "recipes" from a book. They were just things observed or tried.

Then my mind wandered. What/who else is out there that I don't remember? I haven't driven in a while. I'm going to have to take the whole driving test over to get a new license. Hum, will I be able to answer the questions, or drive on the correct side of the road?

I remember a game that was popular in the seventies that my first husband taught me to play. Too bad I can't remember the name of the game. But after I learned how to play, I used to regularly beat my husband. Of course he would immediately go into a snit and complain that I made stupid moves. When he got mad and quit playing I had to remind him that the stupid moves were the ones he taught me. But if I tried to play it today I would not know how.

I have relatives that I would not know if I bumped into them. Of course there are people I could have met yesterday and I still would not know their name.There are old friends I wish I could remember. Then there are old boyfriends/husbands I wish I could forget. Did you know that Elvis sang a song called "I forgot to remember to forget"? The song was about trying to forget about a lost love.

There is an old saying - "Use it or lose it". Is that really true? If we don't do something routinely, do we forget how? Hum, well, I haven't had (close your eyes children) the "Big S" in a while. When the time comes (if ever) will I remember how? Would it be fun re-learning?

What else don't we do any more? Who writes letters? Letters? It's easier to Twitter or IM. Get or read directions? Who reads a street map? It's easier to buy a GPS system for the car than ask someone which way to a street. Yeah, just remember that GPS (also known as Bitch in a Box) might show your street as a vacant field or to turn left in one half mile after you have already turned into your driveway. Remember the Lexus that can parallel park itself? I want to take the driving test in that Lexus.

I know there have to be other things that I used to do. Can I do them now? I don't know, I can't remember what they were. So how can I remember if I used to do them? Well I guess I didn't use/do them enough, so I've lost them. Where am I? Did I forget to eat again?

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Church Bulletin Bloopers

Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.

Due to the rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: God Is Good--Dr. Hargreaves is better.

This Sunday morning following services we will have our monthly feelowship.

Said during a congregational prayer when leading prayer for unsaved loved ones: “Father, we just want to pray for our unloved saved ones.”

Lift up our Messianic brothers and sisters in Israel who are suffering during our prayer time.

“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, even though he diets, yet shall be live.”

On a church postcard: “I have received Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I would like a personal call.”

Church sign: “Jesus Saves!” Safeway sign across the street: “Safeway saves you more!”

Thursday, October 08, 2009

Bare With Me Before I Throw a Fit

I got a wild hair up my backside to change my template. I picked out one I liked and finally with Annie's help got it up. Of course nothing in my life seems to be easy. After I got it up and started to customize it I discovered that I had forgotten to write some of my lists down. So forgive me if I get cranky. I am trying to remember what I need to put on here and where it will go.

Right now I have a headache. My grandson and I were going to take Daisy for a walk. Then he decided that he would rather throw leaves at me then walk the dog. Then he got in trouble by telling me that I'm not "the boss". So we didn't go for a walk and he cried all the way home.

And that's not all. It seems that Daisy has taken a liking to sticking her head into the cat's box and getting the little droppings out and eating them. I sure hope they are tasty! I've spanked her several times, to no avail. She didn't do this at Traci's house and that box doesn't have a top. Go figure.

As of right now, I'm getting frustrated because I have so much to do on this. I do like the picture because we have some lakes in Texas that look a lot like it. For I quit, for now. I didn't realize how much extra work I would have to do here. Hopefully I will get it set up better soon. Otherwise I am going to be in a bit of a bad mood.

Right now I am going to get something to eat and a glass (maybe two) of wine. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday, October 02, 2009

Top 10 Mom Scolding in the Bible

10. Sampson, get your hands off of that lion, you don't know where it's been!

9. David, I told you not to play in the house with that string! Go practice your harp. We pay good money for those lessons.

8. Abraham! Stop wandering around the countryside and get home for supper!

7. Shadrach, Meschach and Abendeco! I told you, never play with fire!

6. Cain! Get off your brother! You're going to kill him some day!

5. Noah, no you can' t help them. Don't bring home any strays.

4. Gideon! Have you been hiding in that wine press again? Look at my clothes.

3. James and John! No more burping at the dinner table, please. People are going to call you sons of thunder.

2. Judas! Have you been in my purse again?

1. Jesus! Close the door! You think you were born in a barn.