The Joke's on Us, Again

The day is here. The day children hoped they would see snow. Gotcha! Didn't happen! Call me a cynic, but I knew it wouldn't. I really did hope I would get to see what my dogs would do in a couple of inches of snow. But Mother Nature was just kidding. All week we listened to warnings of impending significant amounts of snow. Snow was the lead topic of all the local new outlets. Plans were made for the roads and schools and even some business owners. Schools dismissed early Thursday as the weather pattern trudged along looking more and more like we would be in the middle of a blizzard. How big a snowman will we be able to make?

Yesterday all the weather experts were in line saying things would start getting bad around noon. There would be significant accumulations of snow and so on. Then when noon came and nothing really changed, I began to see a hedging of bets. It will come later they said. We still expect a good bit of snow. As the evening goes they said. Then around midnight it would come. That's when I began to think that maybe... no I will still see snow. It would just be later they said, after midnight. We would have to adjust to thinking about snowfall after midnight and waking up to snow in the morning. Ok, I can live with that.

So I wake up Friday morning - no snow, just ice. I knew it would not happen. The weather people dangled that carrot in front of us again and we fell for it. Again. Without snow there was nothing to do. No snowmen to make, no snowballs to throw. Ah, but there was ICE. Ice on the grass, the trees, cars, roads. All of the schools were already closed having dismissed early Thursday afternoon. Ice all over bridges and highway over-passes forced closures of some highways and roads. Authorities begged people not to try to drive in the icy conditions. Did drivers listen? No. Hundreds of accidents happened. A large truck got stuck on a high bridge and could not safely move. So for hours it sat waiting. In another accident, rescuers could not get to the victims by ambulance so they gingerly walked their equipment to them for treatment. It was not the "fun" morning we had hoped for by any means.

Local news was all about ice. Reporters were everywhere covering the story. I don't know how many different reporters were sent to report on the stranded truck story. One reporter had an accident on route to her story which was IN a building. But the story continued to get coverage, if for no other reason than to discourage drivers from attempting to drive. If you don't have to go out, don't go out was the mantra. The news droned on and on, taking over just about all morning programing. I, bored with the repetition, quit watching the news.

Now, it is afternoon and the sun is out. Temperatures are still low and there may still be some ice, but soon it will all be gone. That is until the next time Mother Nature decides to tease us. I said I would believe it when I saw it. I still haven't seen it so I still don't believe. The joke is on us, again. We now return you to regular programing.

Houston, I'll Believe It When I See It.

The big news topic these days is the weather. Snow and ice are all over the country. I understand that thirty-seven states have some form of snow or ice. Even Hawaii had snow, but Alaska didn't. Many of my friends live in areas where the snow has piled up and it is difficult to get around. They are all tired of the freezing temperatures and the mountains of snow. Havoc abounds. We here raid the stores when we are waiting for a hurricane. In some parts of the country people are raiding stores for food during free time between shoveling snow.

This is one reason why I live in the South. Most of the places in the South where I have lived rarely got snow. If it snowed it wasn't much and didn't last long. As a child I remember one time snow fell where we lived in the small town of Brewton, Alabama. I was in grammar school when it snowed. My dog didn't like it. It snowed when I was in high school in North Augusta, South Carolina. It made for a nice picture. I moved, years ago, to Austin, Texas. It rarely snows in Austin, my uncle told me. That year it snowed three times.

In Houston where I now live, it rarely snows. Occasionally snow flurries will float around for a day or so. This is when everybody goes nuts. Nobody knows what to do. So far all the weather people are reporting that we have anywhere from a 20- 60% chance of snow starting maybe Thursday night or sometime Friday. Trucks have already been out spraying some bridges and roadways while others are on standby in the event of a lot of ice. Ice is more likely here, but who knows? People in Houston really get excited when snow is mentioned, but they also get nervous. I can just hear the children now, praying for snow. On the other hand people here don't know what to do. They all run outside to take pictures and send them to the local tv stations or put on their Facebook pages.

I know that there are a lot of kids hoping for a "snow day" school closure. At this very moment the DFW airport in Dallas is closed. That brings an interesting problem for people arriving for the Super Bowl football game. The teams have both already arrived but a lot of fans have not. I wonder what they will do if the Dallas area still has a lot of snow on Sunday? Will the airport be able to open soon? I think it is funny that the game will be played in what is supposed to be a fairly "warm" area. We didn't have these problems when Houston hosted the Super Bowl. Janet Jackson had a problem, but we didn't.

I guess I will just wait and see what happens here. Part of me is excited about the possibility of snow, especially if it were to be of a significant amount. We don't usually get much in the way of snow here. I've gone outside to watch a few flakes fly furiously for a fleeting time. I know that is some parts of our area there has been enough snow to make tiny snowmen. But, we shall see as time goes on and the day gets near. Weather people have been wrong before, but they are all saying we will have some snow. Of course the media can't make up their minds. Our chances of snow are anywhere from 20 to 60% depending on who is reporting at the moment. I will believe it when I see snow on the ground.

Let's Talk...

Is it just me or have people stopped having conversations? Of course we all know people who won't shut up, especially when talking politics or religion. But do family or friends talk to each other anymore? Sure we have to talk to the boss at work or co-workers. But even there e-mail or text seems to be the preferred method of communication.

I watched two of my daughters sit on the same couch and text each other. Hello, you are sitting beside each other! Open your mouth. Some people do call on the phone to ask a question when one person is upstairs and the other downstairs in the same house. Some people will text and then follow with a picture all from their cell phone.

Since we can't text or use a cellphone while driving, who will talk? Just let the machines do it. Smart phones are getting smarter. Soon we will be able to use credit/debit cards from our cellphones. We can watch a movie on our cell phone. That way we don't have to leave the house and ask someone for a ticket or popcorn and a drink. We can get directions on a GPS system. I'm sure the men of the world will like that. They won't have to drive around and around town looking for something while the wife complains, "ask somebody" Let the "box" do it.

The very act of actually talking to a human being may become a lost art. Of course there will always be people in bars. They love to talk, and talk, and talk. The more the drink the more they talk, or attempt to. Have you seen the commercial featuring a girl breaking up with her boyfriend by text while she sits across from him at the same table? Some cars can tell what they are doing or how they are feeling by e-mailing you a status report. "My oil is a quart low and the left rear tire needs air."

We used to send birthday cards to people. That required going to a story and picking out that special card for that special person. Then we would actually speak the words "Happy Birthday". If our favorite grandparent,aunt/uncle, brother/sister needed to talk, we listened, sometimes in person, occasionally on the phone. Now it's a text in some weird abbreviated script which sometimes is hard to understand if you are not up on the texting lingo. The image of "phone sex" has forever changed. $20 per character, emoticons are extra.

Oh well. I'll stop now. I've got to talk to someone. Do dogs count as someone?

Religious Debate?

About a century or two ago, the Pope challenged the Jewish community of Rome to a debate.

The Jews looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. So they finally picked an old man named Moishe who spent his life sweeping up after people to represent them. Being old and poor, he had less to lose, so he agreed. He asked only for one addition to the rules of debate. Not being used to saying very much, he asked that neither side be allowed to talk. The Pope agreed.The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews win."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger, to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him, that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe, amazed that this old, almost feeble-minded man had done what all their scholars had insisted was impossible. "What happened?" they asked.

"Well," said Moishe, "first he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here."

"And then?" asked a woman.

"I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

Christmas is When?

I just realized that Christmas is right here, just about to beat down the door. Why do I feel that it is coming earlier this year? Maybe because I am getting older? This whole year has gone by so fast I wonder why I don't have whip-lash. Yesterday was July 4th right?. No? You mean I missed Labor Day, Thanksgiving and now Christmas is coming? I guess it's a good thing I put up that little tree. Maybe by next year it will have grown. Years ago, we used to set up our decorations and Christmas tree at Thanksgiving. We used to have the whole family come for dinner. Now I couldn't fit everyone in this tiny little space. I know that it's just around the corner. After all I have already watched "It's a Wonderful Life" and "A Christmas Carol" on TCM. I've seen several Christmas movies on ABC Family Channel. All the early shows like Good Morning America, The Early Show and the Today show have been decorated for Christmas. Even the Sports channels like ESPN have decorations. Where was I? Many of my neighbors have their homes lit up with lights and lawn decorations are everywhere. I did put out a few decorations. here is a snowman on the desk here. Small candles in the shapes of sleighs, trees, and Santa. Even my downstairs bathroom has Christmas towels in it. But that was all last minute thoughts.

We got our annual Christmas card from our insurance company and Aunt Pat. Aunt Pat always sends us her "Year in Review" letter along with the card. I gave up sending cards years ago. The rest of our family seems to have given up that tradition too. Of course there are times when we are lucky to remember who we all are. These are the days when everyone seems to do their own thing. Not only that but most of the family is scattered around Texas which makes visiting each other a monumental event. Flying is something I used to enjoy, but that is well...you know. Have you heard "Grandma Got Molested at the Airport"? There is a lesson in there somewhere, I think.

Actually I am really glad that I don't have to fight to buy and hide toys anymore. But I still remember the days when you would set foot into a house and be taken back to a different time. The home always smelled like the season. If cookies weren't in the oven, they were cooling on the racks. Candles burned brightly with festive sents. Sometimes just a hint of the smell of a warm apple pie candle or a bayberry or pine scented candle would be enough to send anyone back to a simpler, slower time.

But now the simpler, slower time seems to go faster and faster. So fast, sometimes I think I missed it all. Maybe it's just me. I remember going to buy a live tree with my parents. Today when I do see a live tree, I can't help but think that it's not the same. We do thinks so fast today. When family comes to visit do they talk to each other? No, They sit on the couch, each with a laptop or phone texting each other. What ever happened to talking?

Yes I did suddenly realize how close we are to Christmas. Some people would like to flash forward and be done with it. Not me. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do more, even if it is just putting a quarter in that red kettle. At least I don't have to battle the scotch tape or try to figure out how to wrap an odd shaped present. Where's the figgy pudding? So before I loose track of time again, I would like to say Happy Holidays to everyone!

All She Needs is a Miracle

A woman was walking along the beach when she stumbled upon a genie's lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it. Lo-and-behold a genie appeared. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.

The Genie said, "Nope. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages in third-world countries and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So, what'll it be?"

The woman didn't hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other."

The Genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Gadzooks, lady! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm good, but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish."

The woman thought for a minute. She said, "Well, I've been trying to find the right husband. You know, one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and helps with the housecleaning, has a great sense of humor and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time and is faithful. That's what I wish for. A good mate."

The Genie let out a long sigh and said, "Let me see that map again."

Poor Little Tree

After a few years of no Christmas decorations we decided to put up a tree this year. Alas, we are without room for a big tree anymore. Our big tree sits in it's box lonely and depressed. It's used to being the star of the show around this time of year. Can a Christmas tree be a diva? I don't have the nerve to ask it. It might just throw branches at me. Dozens and dozens of ornaments of various shapes and sizes used to adorn it. "I look great! I am the center of everything!" After all those years the ornaments sat in the boxes waiting hopefully to be released to adorn the branches of the room commanding tree. Sorry, not this year.

It just doesn't feel right without a tree in the place. One year I tried to decorate with poinsettias. They looked nice but something just wasn't right. There was a point when nearly every room had some decorations in them. But time and downsizing have taken a toll on the Christmas season of decor. Then we were out shopping one day. Our eyes met. Poor little tree... We decided to see if we could find a smaller tree which we could put on top of a chest in the living room. It would have to be inexpensive since this year has been less than what we'd hoped. We wandered over to Big Lots and there it was. A four four tall pre-lit tree. It beckoned to us, "take me home with you."

After so many years of big trees, the little tree looked so puny as it sat on the chest. It reminded me of Charlie Brown's little tree. I went upstairs and brought down a few of our many ornaments. Not boxes and boxes as in the past, but a few special, memorable ornaments. The little tree seemed to smile as I put some bows and birds and other ornaments on it. "Thank you," it seemed to say. "I know I'm not your favorite, but I will make you happy. Wait and see." As I put the decorations on it, somehow it seemed a little brighter, a little happier. No longer a poor little tree, it seemed to know that it was wearing decorations chosen with love. The poor little tree was no longer...now it is a member of the family. It even looks like it is smiling. "Ho,ho,ho. Merry Christmas!"

To Spank or Not to Spank...

I am so glad that my children were as good as they were. Sure they were not always good and the occasionally were spanked for various reasons. Most of the time it was because they would not listen and left me no choice. Yeah, I did the time out routine when they were little. I also spanked when that did not work. But right from the start I had rules for them.

I feel that in some cases spanking is not only a useful too but sometimes there is no other option. I do understand that some people don't want their child spanked. So what do you do when time out or taking away something doesn't work? Some small children do not seem to respond to time outs. This is fine for parents who have kids who listen. What happens if they don't listen and continue to misbehave even after a time out?

My children had a certain bedtime and a certain routine every day. They knew what to expect. However some children don't seem to have any ground rules. They stay up late and talk back to parents or caregivers. They don't listen to what the adults say. They are too young to understand that somethings are not safe for them to do, so the adult has to watch them closely to keep them out of harm's way. When told what to do they don't always listen. This is not good for their future education and relationships.

While I respect a parent's right to choose a non-spanking form of punishment, that does not always work. It is fine for some who have docile children or only one child. But occasionally there is a child who refuses to pay attention to anyone. Since I've been babysitting a couple of children I have run across many hurdles in childhood. I'm looking after a couple of kids all day and one after school. All of them know the rules. Occasionally they break the rules and sometimes a little spanking helps. I rarely have many serious problems. Just the "threat" of a spanking usually does the trick.

But recently there is another child in the mix. She is the same age as the two all day kids. So that makes two who are four, one three and the eldest is six and in school during the day. The newest four year old will be leaving my care soon because her mother did not like the fact that I had to spank her daughter one day. I can understand that. But personally I don't think the child is getting proper supervision at home which is creating a problem for me. I think a four year old should have a set bedtime, say eight o'clock in the evening. She has no such rule. She is often up at midnight. Then she has to be up early to go to the baby sitter (me). Since mom won't allow spanking, this little girl does what she wants when she want to do it. She often talks the other children into trouble. Then she lies about it. I've seen it all. She will go to kindergarten next year. I hope she doesnt talk to her teacher the way she talks to me.

In some ways I hate to see her go. She is a bright little girl and very smart. Unfortunately she thinks she can do what ever she wants and there will not get into trouble. She actually is the ring leader as far as getting others into trouble. I have tried to adhere to her mother's no spank rule. But this girl refuses to listen and no seems to get thru to her. I fear that the parents are not giving her the right lessons. There are always rules and dispbeying them always involves some form of punishment. But when no kind of punishment seems to phase a kid what should we do? She will soon be going to a daycare rather than this house care. I'm afraid that she will find that she is not "in charge" and she will not like their rules either. Me, I'm glad she will soon be out of my hair. Of course now I will have to remind the others that the way she has been behaving will make me call Santa. He won't be happy with her behavior either. But only time will tell. Have fun little girl, you may be able to fool your mamma but you can't fool me. Your new school will be more than you thought you would get.

Bully This!

I can't help it. I've been thinking about my childhood. Why? Because I was picked on and bullied. Also I've thought about the teens who feel they have no choice but to end their lives. I was picked on and laughed at through out my years of school. In grammar school I was small, wore glasses and my last name rhymed with "tomater" so you get the picture. I was shy and small, a perfect target. High school was not much better. My sophomore year was a nightmare because three football players in my fifth period English class made fun of me. They taunted me because I realized I'd get better book report grades if I read harder, "classic" novels. I got straight A's. The football players picked easy books to read and got very bad grades. They gave me the name "Oswald". I dreaded going to class with them so much I threw up nearly every morning. I hated my life because I felt like a misfit and nobody wanted to know the real me. I spent a lot of time alone at school and at home. I was an only child so who did I have to talk to?

My parents talked to me. I didn't really think they understood. But they listened to me. They told me things like "laugh with them, when they laugh at you." I said that would not work. I tried it. It helped. At least I thought that they would never seem me upset. I could be a good actress. After all that is what I wanted to be. Still I was different so I spent a lot of time by myself reading or listening to music. I loved Broadway music. In my mind, I could play every part and sing every song. Too bad I never really could sing. In my junior year I got up the courage to try out for the Junior Play which funded the prom. I became another person. I took the major character role and ran with it. I was at home. Suddenly those football guys saw something different. They quit taunting me.

The question still remains today. What do we do to help those who are being bullied. Where are the parents? I didn't have many of the issues that we have today. I went to segregated schools and really never heard of homosexuality or many other problems children have today. But I was still different. I even told my kids later the same things that my parents told me when they were laughed at by someone. They listened. My oldest daughter had a hard time with a girl in her glass who made fun of her. I told her how to make a joke. The two ended up becoming friends. Who is there for these "misfits" now? I admit not enjoying a lot of my childhood. But my parents were there for me. Teachers were there. Neighbors were there. Ministers were there.

We must do something to stop the bullies. We all grow up. One day the bullies may have their own children. What will they say as parents? Who is at fault? Is it the school systems? Is it the parents? The issues of today are so much more difficult than mine were. What do we say to the kids who enjoy the "power" of being the bully? Does it make them feel important? Does it make them bigger? How many will end up in a life of crime? When will they look at themselves and be ashamed of what they did? I don't have an answer. I don't know why one child becomes a bully and the other one doesn't. I remember hearing Hillary Clinton say, "It takes a village to raise a child". Our village is not doing it's job. Maybe the village idiot is running things? We must stop this now.

That Time of Year Again

Fall has arrived in several parts of the good old USA. I remember last year walking around the tiny town of Ozona, Texas. Ozona is not far from San Angelo, around west Texas. The colors of the leaves were so nice to see. All the yellow,red, gold and orange hues of leaves that were still on the trees. Here in Houston it is a different story. It is almost as if we have two foliage seasons - green and dead.

I have always liked fall. Fall, I think, is Nature's way of telling us that life is always changing and we should not take that lightly. Who among us hasn't had different seasons in their lives? Some good some bad, some colorful, others not. If you go around Houston there will not be much in the way of fall colors in the trees. If you want to see fall colored leaves, go to a store like Hobby Lobby or Michaels and buy some fake leaves and scatter them around. That is about the extent of our season of fall. You want fall decorations for your home? Go buy some pumpkin candles and decorate your house with the colorful leaves that you bought at Hobby Lobby or Michaels. That is it.

I envy those areas which have real colors of fall. The leaves hang on the trees just long enough for people to appreciate the season. Of course there disadvantages to living in an area where trees have colorful foliage. The leaves eventually fall off the trees. Then they turn brown and dead, just like here in Houston. They crunch when you walk through them, just like they do in Houston. The wind blows them all over yards and into streets where cars blow them around again, just like here in Houston. The difference is that unlike other places, here in Houston the trees are green one day and dead the next. Color, what color? Green or dead - not much choice.

So if you live in an area where the leaves change color, enjoy them. Sure you will still have to rake them just as we will, but remember that the colors remind us that there is a season for everything - even leaves.

Look Up, See What You Could Have Missed

I've always liked to look at the sky. I love the variations of blue and the colors created at sunrise or sunset. To me these colors are a thing of beauty. Ever watched ducks fly in formation against a clear blue sky? Or the rays of sun projecting from behind a cloud? Sometimes a red morning sky can be breathtaking. Some parts of the country have "city" problems which make seeing the sky a little less alluring. Smog tends to obscure colors. Then again some people don't notice that grey haze lurking over a city. Maybe people are too busy with daily life to look up and think about what is going on up there.

I smiled at the "Peanuts" cartoon when Charlie Brown was lying on the ground looking up to the sky. At least he thought about what he saw. It doesn't seem to matter if the sky is clear and seemingly endless or angry and dark during a storm. There is always something to ponder. Even clouds tell stories. Who hasn't, like Charlie Brown, seen shapes or characters in the clouds. Those cummulus, cirrus, stratus, or nimbus clouds can tell how the day will go or if the weather will change. Flying in an airplane over the clouds can seem like flying above balls of cotton. Then again,trying to go around a thunderstorm in a plane can be a little scary to the average airplane passenger.

Looking up to the sky on any given day surely must make even non-believers wonder. Of course we can all talk about science and atmospheric conditions but those are numbers and laws of nature as a science. I remember when I wanted to grow up to be a meterologist - that is till I learned the dreaded "advanced math" would be involved. So I just settled for the artistic, or philosophical approach to looking at the sky. Yes, we can all see what we want to see in the bright colors or cloud formations.

Every once in a while even a jaded person like me can have an " oh my, look at that" moment. I was walking Daisy yesterday and had not really paid much attention to the sky. After all the sky is always changing and clouds always blow around. There are days when the blue seems very blue and the white clouds seem very white. Nothing was out of the unusual until I looked at the sky and noticed that two long, slender clouds had drifted together to form a perfect cross. I had to stop and look for a moment. Naturally, the philosopher in me wondered...why? I just stood there, looking. Then Daisy decided it was time to move along. When I looked back up, the cross had vanished. I guess it was a good thing that I looked when I did. I could have missed it. Was it a sign? I don't know. It was probably just two wandering clouds who decided to stop and say "Hi" to each other. Right?

I Found This, Reminds Me of a Lot of Politicians

A powerful senator dies after a prolonged illness. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the senator. "Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven."

"I'm sorry but we have our rules," replies St. Peter.

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. Nearby are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is in evening attire and very happy to see him. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy and who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that the time flies, before he realizes it, the senator has to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."

The next 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity." The senator reflects for a minute, then answers, "Well, I would never have said it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

The Devil comes over to him and lays his arm on his neck.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a beautiful club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now there is only a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable."

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"

Magnets...Chick Magnets That Is

The other day I saw a survey about what kind of things attracts gals to a guy. Of course looks were on the list. Sunglasses were too. Why I don't know. Hair color and style were also on the list. But the number one chick magnet was a guy with a dog.

A guy walking a dog is more likely to attract a look from a female than just about anything else. So what kind of dog? Is a girl more likely to start a conversation with a guy who is walking a tiny dog or a big lab? Do shepherds make the list? How about a tall guy walking a short dachshund? Is a chick more likely to approach a guy walking a mastiff or a poodle.

Is a short, fat guy more likely to attract a girl if he is walking a dog opposed to not having a dog with him? Would a gal give a second look to to this guy if he didn't have a dog with him? If the guy is a handsome man walking an ugly dog, would he be noticed because he has a dog or because the guy is attractive?

I wonder if the kind of dog a guy has suggests what type of person he is. If the dog is mean, is the guy? If the dog is a nervous, yappy dog will a gal think twice before talking to the guy. Who wants to have a conversation with a guy while his dog is barking? What if the dog is a slobering type? Would the gal be less likely for fear of the slinging slobber?

So chicks like guys with dogs. It shows the guy is capable of giving and receiving love. It shows that he is usually caring and compassionate. On the other hand, if his dog is a big mean dog, would the chick want to take thc chance? Let's see how many men would approach a chick walking a rotweiler?

Tis the Season - Sort of...

The children around here are back in school.Parents are happy. I thought of a song which used to be played on the radio this time of year for parents. It was also played at the end of the school year for the kids..."Happy Days Are Here Again". I also heard the old Andy Williams Christmas song..."...the Most Wonderful Time of the Year..." played on the radio. Tis the season.

We are still in the middle of hurricane season here. So far seven storms have blown up and out. Houston is in the middle of a heat wave with heat indices in the 105-110 range. We'd almost be happy with a litte bit of tropical weather - just not too much. The leaves on a couple of trees around here are turning yellow and falling off. Tis the season.

Halloween stores have been open a while now. I guess they expect people will be looking for costumes and decorations early this year. So where is all the candy? Oh, I guess all of that will be selling right after Labor Day. Tis the season.

Somewhere in the middle of all this Thanksgiving will appear. Some stores will have a turkey price war.I must remember to get some cranberry sauce. Maybe I'll just get sauced thinking of how often Thanksgiving is skipped right over into Christmas. After all some stores have already put some decorations on sale. Tis the season.

So since today is 4 months until Christmas day, let me be the first to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Just forget Labor Day and Thanksgiving. Tis the season...

A Bunny Story

Once upon a time there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter Bunny.

The man cried out, "Oh no! I have committed a terrible crime! I have run over the Easter Bunny!"

The man started sobbing quite hard and then he heard another car approaching. It was a woman in a red convertible. The woman stopped and asked what the problem was.The man explained, "I have done something horribly sad. I have run over the Easter Bunny. Now there will be no one to deliver eggs on Easter, and it's all my fault."

The woman ran back to her car. A moment later, she came back carrying a spray bottle. She ran over to the motionless bunny and sprayed it. The bunny immediately sprang up, ran into the woods, stopped, and waved back at the man and woman. Then it ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved. It then ran another 10 feet, stopped, and waved again. It did this over and over and over again until the man and the woman could no longer see the bunny.

Once out of sight, the man exclaimed, "What is that stuff in that bottle?"

The woman replied, "It's harespray. It revitalizes hare and adds permanent wave."

Family, the Tie that Binds, even on Facebook

I saw today that Facebook now has 500 million users now. And to think that the genius behind all of this is 26 years old. I've got clothes older than he is. I've been on it about a year now. My children are on it and I have quite a few friends on it as well. I even found my ex-husband on there. No, we are not friends. Not in this life or the next either. But I have met some nice, interesting people.

Anyone who is on Facebook has probably had the urge to check out an old friend from school or someone they have not thought about in years. I remember searching for an old high school friend. He's a priest now. I still find that hard to believe. I looked up my maiden name to see if I found anything. There were lots of them but I doubt any were related to me. That would have been quite a find. I only have one uncle left on that side. My father had four brothers and one sister. Through them I ended up with eleven cousins. It's sad to say but if I ran into to any of them I doubt I would know them at all.

The other day I had a sudden urge to look up the name of a cousin. She was six months younger than I. We spent many school summers together in New Jersey. My grandfather lived in New Jersey as did my uncle and aunt. My mother and I used to drive up from Alabama for a couple of weeks each summer and occasionally during Christmas breaks from school. My cousin and I were both only children. She had red hair. I sill remember cutting off her pig-tail. We got into a lot of trouble over that episode.

I put her name into the search. Imagine my surprise when I actually found her. She still has red hair. I knew instantly that was her. We lost touch many years ago and I haven't seen her since the early 70's. So now we are Facebook friends. After chatting with her I even discovered the my aunt and uncle are still alive. That was a surprise. My cousin said she would have them e-mail me. Thanks Facebook. I thought that tie was forever broken, but the family ties still are there.

Addiction or There's an App for That

Ok, I admit that maybe I need to go into a virtual 12 step program to get me off "Farmville". I got on Facebook last year. Now I find that I have to see what is going on each day. And I thought Twitter was bad! I was addicted to that too. I even had TweetDeck which chirped every time a new tweet came in. My grandsons kept asking where were the birds.

This year I started playing "Farmville" a little more. Last year I didn't really do too much. Now it is serious business. I have to work my crops and do all the work around my farm. Sometimes I get the help of arboritists or farmhands. Mostly it is me who has to do all the harvesting. Oh, and I can't forget the co-op either. Jeez. Who know that simple games could be so addicting. You can apparently get "an app for that" for just about anything including Facebook games on any "smart phone." There is even one which will "analyse" a baby's cry to tell you what is wrong.

I find myself thinking every day that I need to go back to writing. Then I have the urge to see what is going on at my farm or my Hotel City, or my Social City, or my Mafia Wars, or Pet City, Happy Aquarium, etc... Get my drift?? I am beginning to think my life revolves around the games instead of real life. On the other hand, sometimes the games are more fun. I don't have an app for that on my phone... can't play games in the car. Of course the cops would not take too kindly to that anyway.

I used to laugh at people I knew who spent a better part of the day playing games instead of doing housework or cooking or anything else for that matter. Then I wondered what would happen to me if I didn't have the ability to play these games? Oh dear, can I stand one day without them? Uh...well, aw come on, just one game! Maybe the fun will wear off soon. Oh crap! Last time I looked my crops were 98% ready to be harvested. Can't let them go to waste. Gotta get thos coins so I can make my farm bigger. Sigh. And so it goes. There's gotta be an app...for quiting. Right?

For Those Who Have Ever Golfed

A man went to the confessional. “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.”

"What is your sin, my son?” the priest asked.

"Well,” the man started, “I used some horrible language this week, and I feel absolutely terrible.”

"When did you use this awful language?” asked the priest.

"I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 250 yards, but it struck a power line that was hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about a hundred yards.”

"Is that when you swore?”

"No, Father. After that, a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in his mouth and began to run away.”

"Is that when you swore?”

"Well, no. You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons, and flew away!”

"Is that when you swore?” asked the amazed priest.

"No, not yet. As the eagle carried the squirrel away in his claws, it flew toward the green. And as it passed over a bit of forest near the green, the squirrel dropped my ball.”

"Did you swear then?”

"No, because as the ball felt it struck a tree, bounced through some bushes, careened off a big rock, and rolled through a sand trap onto the green and stopped within six inches of the hole.”

The priest signed, “You missed the putt, didn't you?”

Shadows on the ceiling

The other day I was upstairs in the bedroom when I noticed shadows moving on the ceiling. Big deal, right? Of course the dancing of the shadows was a result of the tree limbs at the front corner of the building. It was a breezy day so the limbs were swaying to the song of the wind. The window curtains block the sunlight but not the motion of the shadows of everything from the neighbors walking into or out of their place or that tree. It is really in a bad place because the branches rub along the wall and gutters at the corner of the building. Quite annoying to those who live there.

I don't have to listen to the rustling of the leaves or the scraping of the branches along the walls. I had not really paid much attention to the shadows made by the tree though. That is until I decided to lie down on the bed because I had a headache. A couple of aspirin and a nap should cure the problem I thought. I soon forgot about the headache because I noticed the movement on the ceiling. The tree limbs were bending in the breeze, but from my vantage point the picture on the ceiling looked like giant legs of a spider. Almost like a nature video the "legs" moved up and down, stretched and curled just like any good spider.

For a moment I thought I was watching one of those old 50's horror movies. The giant spider is about to devour the building! Run for your life! Each leg seemed to move independently of the others. Slowly, they reached out to grab an imagined prey. Is this spider ever going to get the unsuspecting victim? Or are the legs waving to others to signal that the take over of the world has begun? I couldn't help but watch all of this. Ah, well so much for a wild imagination...

Wonder How Long It Took?

Gotta love Spring. Flowers, weeds, bugs all come forward. If you like the time of year, you may like watching things. I do. I've always liked to watch things grow and see flowers bloom, especially if I grew them.

Occasionally I find myself watching and wondering about nature. Yeah we all have seen the fights between mockingbirds over the "ladies". I accidentally ran into a dove's nest a few weeks ago. "Excuse me - didn't mean to bother you". Even birds can give you "that look". Looking at butterflies I wonder about their colors and in some cases how far they flew to get here. Any vegetable garden is witness to crawling creatures foraging for food so they can move on to butterfly-hood. I have watched them chew their way through leaves or try to hide in among like colored leaves.

Then one day I watched a small green caterpiller moving along to what it hoped to be a good place to transform into that butterfly. At least I hope he was thinking. But the funny thing was he was inching along and trying to dine on a green sponge. Did he not think it was a little tough to chew? Never mind that the sponge color did not blend well with his body. Hum... It seemed to take a long time. I wonder how long it took for him to figure out that he was not crawling along a leaf? Was the taste, or lack there of, a clue? Or did a hungry bird grab him as a tender tasty bite first? I guess I will never know, but I wonder if he ever figured it out in time?