Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Out of Perfection and Down to Earth

I've been thinking (now that's scary) about the "raising a bastard" child statement made by the mother to her pregnant daughter. I just can't get it out of my head. My first reaction was to feel a little vindicated and evil. After all Amy (the mother) is, in my opinion, a holier than thou, I'm going to Heaven and you're not type. She is a Creationist hard-line Bible thumper type. The times I have spent around her I always felt I had to be watchful of what I said or did. Not wanting to insult or demean her I tried to watch my language, didnt drink and because I dont agree with her religious attitudes I avoided certain topics. We even didnt watch some tv topics cause she disagreed with the content. Couldn't even discuss a National Geographic "missing link" evolution show because she disagreed with it. So naturally my first thought was a little smug. After all, the entire time I have known the daughter I felt she would be the one to break the ties and do her own thing. She always went to the beat of a different drummer. But, I realized spiteful, I should not feel. I was reminded of my own daughter who did not have the courage to tell me she was pregnant. It wasn't hard to figure out, duh. My daughter was 19 when she was railroaded out of college and into marriage and motherhood by a family who did not want the "disgrace" of an out of wedlock child.

I can only hope that Amy will realize that shaming her daughter into something she does not want will ultimately fail. I actually fee proud that the girl wants to raise the child herself. Shame and bitterness is not the Christian way. Now is the time Amy needs to call upon her religion to aid and comfort her and her daughter. Back off Amy, compassion is the key here. No body is perfect. Mother/daughter ties break too easily. Pushing issues can and frequently do backfire. Trust me, I know.

Funny how I wanted to shake my finger and say "serves you right", Amy. I realize I cannot take any perverse joy in this (Oh, how I want to). I'm going to take the high road and hope for the best for all of them.


Dr.John said...

First of all thanks for the comment on my blog. Second the high road is a better road but it is a road not often taken.

S said...

It's sad that the Mom is the way she is. However, I tend to "flip out" on things for a bit, then I get my head screwed on & we tackle the problem. It's something I'm trying to work on. (I don't think I'm doing very well though)

Sending good, supportive thoughts to the girl.