Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Annie and I were talking recently about Jimmy's parents tombstones. Odd subject for sure. But since we had not seen them it a subject of curiosity. They died 10 days apart in August, 2000. As they are buried in Rockdale we rarely get up that way. The last time we went from Houston to central Texas was at Thanksgiving with Jimmy's Aunt Pat. At that time we had planned to go visit their graves but for some reason we didn't get the chance. So since Traci lives around Waco, she and Bobby got some pictures for us. She e-mailed them to all the family members.

I have always had a different view of graves and tombstones. Some people would probably say it is sacrilegious. But I can't help feeling a little creepy. I have gone to very old cemetaries and looked for old or unusual tombstone. I've always wondered about the very old ones and what type of lives the people led. But when it comes to going to visit graves of relatives, I just don't care for it. As a child I never wanted to do it because I thought it was weird. Just like the movies showing someone talking to a "person" who is buried there. I've never been comfortable with that thought. Why talk to someone who can't answer back? Do they even know you're there? How do they know? If a person is religous, usually they believe their departed loved one is in heaven. So why talk to a piece of land with a stone marking it?

Even as a child I thought the whole thing was odd. Then I always wondered what would happen when there was no more land to bury people. In some places people are buried upright to save room. I always felt it was a waste of good ground. I was also one of those weird kids that thought it was a lot of money to spend just to do something with a body. What about poor people who can't afford caskets and grave stones? What about the people who die alone without anyone to care?

I know I was and am weird or at best unconventional. I have always wanted to be cremated. Both my parents were. Their ashes were thrown in East Pass around Destin, Florida. I always thought that was nice and more spiritual. So many people,including my husband, feel the need to go to a grave to visit their departed loved one. I've never really understood why. I guess it makes them feel closer. I would rather my family feel my spirit instead on look at a plot of ground. After all, I always told them I would come back to haunt them! You never know where you might find me! If you bury me near a tree,I'll make sure there is at least one root that will trip you.

In reality just the thought of how much money is involved in burying the dead is outrageous. It is just way too expensive. The only good things about tombstones are the artwork and the history of the very old ones. That is if there is anyone still around who remembers.


Trinity13 said...

I know when my mother-in-law passed away, my father-in-law got a joint site. That way he will be buried right next to her and that's really important to him. We try to visit her gravesite once a's just a symbol of her entire life. It's just like a wedding don't need it to be married, but it's a sign that you are (and a lot of people would feel uncomfortable without it). Make sense?

S said...

It's becoming difficult to have your ashes scattered; some states require written approval. But I also wonder about running out of room. My Mom wants to be cremated too but I told her she is NOT sitting on my mantel!

We try to visit Grannie when we are in town; we don't get to much. The first year she was gone we'd put 3 red roses on her grave; one for each of us. I think the last time we put roses down was Christmas 2004. That might have been the last time we stopped too. It's been 7 years this month. We buried her on our anniversary so that use to make it hard on us but it has gotten easier.

Anonymous said...

My thought is to be cremated, have the ashes mixed with earth, and plant a tree with the soil. I'd like my 'marker' to be something living.